Surviving Cancer

Saturday, October 28

LEVI POV

Maci and I were sitting on the couch in the living room waiting for dinner.  It was just going to be our mom, Maci and I.  Our dad had to work late tonight.  I always hated the nights that he wasn't here for dinner.  They were more frequent now that we lived in Michigan.  I knew he couldn't help it and I knew he didn't like it but at the same time it made me mad.  He should be here with us, with Maci, with me.  Maci had her head leaning against my shoulder, her cold fingers laced in mine.

"When's Jonah's party again?" I asked.

"Next Sunday at noon." She said, her voice sounded heavy with sleep.

I kept my eyes on the TV trying to stay as still as possible if she did drift of in the near future.  "Are you excited?"

She nodded her head just as my phone started going off.  I snatched it off the arm of the couch seeing the name flash across the screen.

"I gotta take this." I said, holding it tight in my hand.

"Who is it?" Maci asked. She sat up and watched me closely.

I shook my head no, "No one important. Be right back."

I accepted the call before I shoved my feet in my boots and grabbed my coat.  I stepped outside, burying my free hand in the pocket as I finally said hello.

"You told your dad you found me." Jennifer said into the phone instantly.

I walked myself to the middle of the driveway and stared up at the sky.  It was dusk already and it was only like 6 o'clock.  The air was freezing and everything looked like crap.  It made me miss Florida.  Michigan was depressing, everything about it so far had been.  And now it was reflecting my life.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"I didn't answer the call.  He left me a message asking me to call him back." Her voice sounded slightly panicked.

I wasn't sure what to say.  Why was she so upset that he had called?  Was she scared of him?  Or mad? I couldn't tell.

"So call him back." I said.

"It's not that simple Levi." She snapped and then let out a sigh.

I shook my head, "How is it not that simple?  All you have to do is press a button and hold a phone to your ear."

Jennifer didn't say anything, I figured in her head she was probably thinking, "naïve kid, he's too young to understand that life is more complicated then that" because that's what all adults think.  But what they don't realize is I completely understood.

"Listen, all I'm saying is if you want to see us you should probably talk to him." I said as I ran my hand through my hair, pulling at the ends.

"Of course I want to see you two." She answered.

I pinched my eyebrows together, replaying the last few sentences in my head.  I had said us, not Maci.  I didn't want to see her; I was only doing this for Maci so why did I say us?

"I have to go." I muttered.

I didn't give her a chance to say goodbye, I just wanted off the phone.  I felt slightly panicky, did my subconscious want something other then what I thought I wanted?  I sat down on the curb, my fingers cold from the cool air.  I stuffed them into my jacket, folding myself up into a ball to keep out the cold.  I didn't want to meet her.  I mean the first time I ever actually saw her in person, if that were to ever happen, was going to be so awkward.  What are you suppose to say to your "mom" you've never met?  But I wanted to know whatever was making her so hesitant about my dad.  So that meant I had to keep talking to her.  She was in my life now whether I liked it or not, at least for a little while anyway.  I let out a sigh, watching my breath crystalize in front of me.  That barely ever happened in Florida, only on what we would consider an extremely cold winter day, which ended up being maybe forty degrees.  I pulled my phone out, resting my chin on my knees as I scrolled through my contact list.  I clicked on Jackie's number.  I stared straight ahead as I waited to hear her voice.