Surviving Cancer

Thursday, November 16 Cont'd

MACI POV

I followed Jared as he stepped inside Skylar's house.  He kicked his shoes off, sliding them to the side with his foot as he embraced Skylar's mom.  She wrapped him up in her arms like he was her own child, placing a kiss on his cheek. 

"It's so good to see you back in this house." Christy said, her eyes closed as she squeezed him. 

"I missed you too." Jared's voice was quiet.

They stayed like that for a moment, wrapped up in each other like they hadn't seen one another in years.

"Maci, sweetie, it's good to see you also." She broke her embrace with Jared, pulling me into her arms.

"You also." I smiled.

"How are you dear? Taking care of yourself?" She asked, putting me at arms length to survey the sick girl.

"Yeah." I nodded my head. 

"We were hoping to see Skylar.  Is he around?" Jared interjected, saving me from anymore scrutiny.

Christy's face fell slightly before she regained her composure.  "Of course honey, go ahead downstairs and I'll let him know you're here."

Jared said thanks before we both made our way through the house and to the stairs.  Jared shuffled down the stairs, his feet moving rapidly beneath him as he basically skipped down them.  I on the other hand gripped the railing, taking a deep breath as I prepared myself.  Stairs just felt like a monumental feat. Going down wasn't as bad as going up but both ways were starting to suck.  I took my time, taking a step at a time until I was at the bottom.  Jared instantly moved toward me his arm outstretched to grab me and help me the rest of the way.  Just as his skin brushed mine I jerked my arm away. 

"Don't." I spat.  My voice holding more venom then I had intended.

I didn't realize the anger I had been holding in until it flooded out of my mouth to attack Jared. I was tired and annoyed my body hates me. He recoiled just as fast as he'd reached out, a wounded look flashing in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I was just.." He took a step back, giving me ample room.

"I know." I softened my tone, "I just don't need help."

He nodded his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets.  He didn't say anything for a minute but I could tell he was fighting with himself.  "You shouldn't be ashamed to ask for help."  His voice was so quiet it was almost inaudible.

I didn't say anything back, instead I walked to the keyboard, taking a seat behind it.  I knew Jared was right.  It wasn't like I could help what was happening and it was only going to get worst.  I was going to need help and lots of it.  Maybe he was on to something.  Maybe I wasn't just angry that things were already slipping out of my control.  Maybe I was ashamed.  I shook my head slightly trying to disperse the thoughts.  We were here for Skylar, not me.  I glanced up at Jared, he was watching me tentatively.  I shrugged my shoulder half-heartedly and gave a small smile.  The best I could do at an apology for now. I rested my fingers on the keys, playing the first few notes of a song.  I glanced up at Jared who was watching me, so I continued on for a moment.

When I stopped he instantly asked, "What song was that?"

A smile played at my lips.  I started playing again, this time at the chorus. I sang,

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

Flew me to places I'd never been

'Til you put me down, oh

I knew you were trouble when you walked in"

Before the last note I played had time to die Jared was talking.