Surviving Cancer

Saturday, October 7

MACI POV
I woke up on Saturday with puffy red eyes and a pounding headache. Apparently my body wasn't made for crying but did just fine as a cancer factory. I glanced at my phone for the time, it was 12:16 in the afternoon. I groaned, my bladder crying out for relief. I pulled myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I gave into my bladder's demand and grabbed a cold washcloth before falling back into my bed. I laid the washcloth over my irritated eyes, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep again and wake up later having it all been a dream. I felt the tears spring into my closed eyes, the forced their way out of the corners soaking into the washcloth. I couldn't believe it was back again.

I heard my phone vibrate but didn't reach for it as I continued to cry silently. I didn't want anyone to hear me. I knew my parents and Levi we're dealing with it too and they didn't need to console me with false promises when they were having the same doubts. I let my mind wander hoping it would help me to stop crying. I should text Jackie. And probably Skylar. He had shown up the night before to make sure I was okay, noticing I had left school early. I'm not sure if he bought my whole 'my mom took us out of school to hang out and do some fun things' crap I told him. Especially because I'm sure my eyes were red from crying but he hadn't  pressed it. I wondered what Jared was doing. What did he do on a Saturday.

I flew up in bed. Panic settling in. It was Saturday. Jared's cousin's wedding. My eyes instantly flew open, my tears stopping seconds after. I sat there listening to my ragged breathing and my sniffling nose. And that's when I remembered what I promised myself when I was eleven. It was right before I got the news that the cancer was gone. I went into that appointment, thinking years beyond the eleven I had. I told myself that no matter what happened, I was going to live my life to the best of my abilities. So as I sat there, my chest heaving and my nose running I made up my mind. I was going to have to start treatment next week which would hinder the amount of good days I'd have but either way I wasn't going to sit in my room and do nothing. I was going to that wedding and I was going to have a good time.
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"Do I look okay?"

After my little revelation I realized I only had two hours to get ready. It was doable as long as I went fast, so that's what I did.

"You look amazing." Levi said as he looked up from his textbook.

I had on a ¾ length pale pink lace dress. It had a dark brown belt around the waist and I had a pair of brown round-toed pumps. My hair was down in soft curls and pulled to the side in a low ponytail, I kept my make up simple wearing only a little bit of mascara.

I stood silently as Levi shoved himself off his bed. He ran his hand through his hair as he came to stand in front of me.

"How are you?" He asked softly.

I bit my lip, looking down. "I'd be lying if I said I was okay but I will be."

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. His Armani cologne filled my nose as I buried my face in his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay." I mumbled against him.

I wasn't sure if I truly believed it yet, or if I would at all. But the only way to make it through this was to stay as happy and positive as possible. If that meant I had to lie to myself and everyone around me I could do that. I felt Levi nod his head.

"Yeah." He said as he pulled away. "So you're going with Jared?"

"Yeah, to his cousin's wedding."

"But I thought you were with Skylar." He closed the book that was lying open on his bed before looking back at me.

"I am. I told Jared I'd go with him before Skylar and I figured out...what...we are." I stumbled over my words still not able to process the fact that he was now my boyfriend. "I told Skylar anyway. He wasn't thrilled but he's also not my dad...or you."