Surviving Cancer

Friday, October 6

For those that have been reading along with the editing, the doctor appointment is two days. Thursday they go in, talk to the dr. Friday they go in again. Just to clarify. EnJoy -DBR

MACI POV

I spent Thursday avoiding Jared and Skylar to the best of my abilities.After I had told Jackie to tell them I was sick they both spent Wednesday blowing up my phone. I was barely keeping myself together.Levi and I both woke up Thursday morning looking like we hadn't slept in days.It was simply stress caused by the unknown and the potential threat of our life once again being altered beyond belief.

We had gone into my doctors on Thursday. I was a ball nerves as I sat there explaining my symptoms. I had my fingers crossed under my legs the entire time. Anything to put the odds in my favor. I wasn't the praying type but I had prayed to whoever of whatever was out there. I had even made rushes as we passed some cemeteries on the way. Dr. Hildebrand had ended up ordering scans to see if in fact my cancer had come back. Which meant I was going back to the hospital on Friday.
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So Friday when I slapped my hand down on my alarm and rolled myself out of bed I wasn't surprised to see the black rings still under my eyes and my face a pasty white. I showered and threw some clothes on and some make up.I was too preoccupied to put too much effort in it.I grabbed my phone and bag and went to Levi's room.I knocked once before I shoved the door open, dropping my bag on the floor and hurling myself onto his bed.He was in his bathroom doing something.I buried my head in his pillow, smelling his signature scent, Armani cologne.It's funny how millions of people wear the same cologne but that smell will always be Levi.No matter what.It had become such a comfort to me.I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and relaxed as I waited for Levi.

"Hey." He said a few minutes later as he emerged from his bathroom.

"Hi." I mumbled into his pillow.

"Did you eat breakfast yet?"

I could hear him rummaging around his room.I hadn't had breakfast, in fact I hadn't had much since Wednesday.I couldn't find my appetite and I highly doubted it would return until I knew one way or the other.My stomach was twisted in knots and I just wasn't convinced it was ready to take on food.

"No."

Levi sighed and I could practically picture him running his hand through his dark brown hair."You need to eat Macin."

"I know.Too nervous."I mumbled again, attempting to bury myself even deeper into his bed.

"Will you at least try today?" He asked, I felt the bed sink as he wrestled on a pair of shoes.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Maybe after."

"Maci." Levi said, laying flat against the bed.I didn't open my eyes but I knew he was staring at me."No matter what happens today you're going to be fine."

"You don't know that though." I muttered, my voice coming out muffled against the pillow.

"Yeah I do." I shook my head no."You did last time, didn't you?"

I snorted, I barely made it last time.There were days when I thought it was the last day."Yeah."

"So why wouldn't you be okay this time?"He asked.

It broke my heart to hear how confident he was.The likelihood of me surviving another round of cancer was so slim.I knew that, I knew my parent's knew that but Levi, he had never been able to accept my cancer.He still couldn't even say my name and cancer in the same sentence.He either trailed off leaving you to fill in the blanks or he beat around the bush.So why would this time be any different?Not that I could blame him.I'd probably react similarly if the roles were reversed.