Surviving Cancer

Thursday, January 18 Cont'd

LEVI POV

I slipped my hand in Emma's as we made our way down the hallway. She had been quieter this week. I hadn't asked but I knew it was because of Matt and the anniversary of the accident. I wasn't really sure what to say and I was too freaked out about the speech looming over my head to come up with something.

"Levi!"

I looked up from my feet. Apparently I had been staring at them as I walked.

"Hey man, got a minute?" Jared asked, glancing at Emma.

Emma looked at Jared with the same spiteful look she had since I met her. I wondered if she'd ever let it go. It wasn't Jared's fault from what I knew and the more I got to know him the more I saw that he was still dealing with the effects of losing Matt too. He just did it quieter than most.

"Yeah sure." I turned to Emma, planting a kiss on her cheek. "I'll catch up."

She nodded her head, not saying a word as she left.

"She hates you." I blurted out, not too sure why.

"Yeah I know." Jared said.

He fell into step beside me. I hadn't even noticed the folder in his hand until he was passing it to me. I took it hesitantly. I didn't really want it back.

"So you read it then." I asked.

"Yeah." He said.

"What's it say?"

I still didn't want to know. But tomorrow I would be reading it in front of the student body.

He shrugged. "How strong do you think you are?"

"What?" I asked, my eyebrows pinched together. Who cares how strong I am? I was reading a speech not lifting weights or something. He looked at me, waiting. "I don't know. What kind of question is that?"

"A relevant one."

He stuffed his hands in his jeans as we walked.

"I don't get it." I said flatly.

He smiled a little. We continued weaving through the crowded hallway. He didn't bother to explain.

"You still going to skip it?" I asked.

He glanced over at me and nodded. "Probably. Why?"

I shrugged, I wasn't really sure why I wanted to know. Part of me almost wished he was going to be there. He already knew what the speech said. He'd understand.

"Just curious." I answered.

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MACI POV

I navigated to my Facebook messenger, seeing that I had a new message. I bit my lower lip, Craig Summers had replied to my message. I stared at his bold name for a few minutes. Did I even want to know what he said? I shook my head.

"You started it Maci." I said to myself before opening his message.

'Maci, sorry it took me so long to get back to you. To answer your question, yes, I do know Eric Summers. He's my brother. I however do not talk to him anymore. May I ask why you are searching for him?

Craig'

I read the message at least another three times. My curiosity was growing stronger and stronger every time I read it. Why weren't they talking to each other? Had it been something Eric did? Or Craig? But the thing that had me more shocked was the fact that he was technically my uncle. I read his message one last time before I hit reply. I started typing before deleting it, realizing I had no idea how to explain who I was.

'Thanks for getting back to me.'

It was always good to start off being polite. If I lost my finesse toward the end of my explanation at least he would see I was trying to handle the situation correctly.

'I don't know if you know but Eric got a woman named Jennifer Paulson pregnant when they were 18. Jennifer had twins, a boy and a girl. The twins would be me and my brother Levi.'

I read through what I wrote, trying to figure out a way to end it. What was I expecting? Did I want to get in contact with Eric? Did I want anything from Craig? I went with the truth, even if it didn't make much sense.

''I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. Maybe curiosity got the best of me after I met Jennifer.'

I left it at that and hit send. I read our short conversation again. My response wasn't terrible, I mean how did you really have that sort of conversation anyway?

I heard the door click as someone came into my room. I felt my heart rate pick up as I slammed my computer shut and grabbed my guitar that was sitting next to me on my bed. I felt like I had just got caught doing something I shouldn't.

"Hey honey." My mom said as she walked into the room.

"Hi." I squeaked out.

My mom looked at me for a second. I'm sure wondering why I sounded so weird. She didn't press it though.

"Have you been working on a new song?" My mom ask as she stripped out of her coat.

"No, we'll sort of." I said, thankful for the direction the conversation went.

I had been practicing Jared's favorite song practically nonstop. If, and it was an enormous if, I decided to play it for him it had to be perfect. And the only way to get it perfect was for it to almost become apart of me.

"It's a cover."

"Can I hear it?" She asked.

I bit my lip. "Soon. I still need to practice more."

She smiled. "Well what song is it then?"

"I Hold On by Dierks Bentley." I looked down at my guitar in my lap.

"Isn't that a country song?"

I nodded my head. "Jared likes country."

Her smile spread. She turned away, fussing with something.

"Ah I see." She said. "I'm sure he will love it."

I felt my cheeks burn. "I'm not playing it for him."

Maybe.

"Why not?"

She was keeping herself busy for my sake. Unlike my dad that had to stare at me through the embarrassing 'lets talk about boys' conversation, my mom at least let me be awkward without an audience.

I shrugged, not that she saw. "I don't know."

"Well." She started. "I know you don't love playing for people but I think it would be a very sweet gift."

I looked down at my guitar, my pic laying in the sheets beside me where I had discarded it earlier. I never really thought of it as a gift.

"Music has a way of helping people heal, you shouldn't hide your gift." My mom added.

I cocked my head slightly, staring at my mom's back. I couldn't quite recall if I had told her about Jared's accident. I definitely didn't tell her the anniversary for it was Monday. Or was she talking about me? How did me playing for people help me heal? I bit my lower lip, setting my guitar to the side. I didn't ask her. I wasn't sure if I was ready either way.