Surviving Cancer

Monday, November 13

MACI POV

"Hey girly!" Jackie said as she sat down next to me Monday morning in school.

"Hey how was your weekend?" I asked, shifting in my seat to face her.

"Good, Greg and I hung out, ya know the usual. Yours?" She asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, "As good as it could be I guess."

She nodded her head slightly, "What are you doing after school?"

"Nothing as of yet." I said.

"Well would you like some company doing nothing? I can pick up a movie or two." She said.

"Yeah, sure."

Jackie and I looked up simultaneously as Skylar walked in. We hadn't spoke since our last phone call, in fact he hadn't even acknowledged me. I guess I couldn't blame him; I was the one that initiated the break up. But I didn't necessarily want him to ice me out. Skylar didn't look at either of us even though we watched his every move until he sat in his seat beside me.

Jackie poked me in the arm mouthing 'Have you guys talked?'

I shook my head 'no'.

Jackie shrugged her shoulders as Ms. Chilson asked for the classes attention. It wasn't that I wanted Skylar out of my life, I just couldn't have him so in my life if he couldn't handle the biggest thing happening to me. I still wanted to be friends. I still wanted to hang out with him and the guys and play music. Maybe I needed to explain myself better. Tell him that the cancer was back. Maybe then he would understand why I broke up with him.
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After Ms. Chilson dismissed us from class I instantly stood, having my things already packed up. I wanted to catch Skylar before he got too far ahead of me. I mumbled something to Jackie about meeting up with her later and scooted out the door of the classroom. I waited a little down the hallway pressed up against a locker to stay out of the way. My heart was beating unusually fast and not because I had rushed myself out of the room. I was nervous, afraid even, that he wouldn't want anything to do with me. I anxiously stared at the door as I watched people from my class filter out. As soon as Skylar popped through the entrance I started making my way toward him. If he saw me coming he acted like he hadn't.

"Hey Skylar." I said, trying to keep my shoulders in line with his as I approached.

His eyes slowly came to meet mine, clouded over with an emotion I had yet to see.

"Can I walk with you?" I asked, falling into step beside him. He shrugged his shoulders. "How are you?"

"Fine." His voice icy.

"Um..." I started, I was hoping for a little more than fine. "I just wanted to let you know that I do still hope we can be friends."

"Why? What's the point?" He snapped. "You made it pretty damn clear the other night on the phone."

I nodded my head as he spoke. More of because I wanted to make sure he knew I was listening.

"It's still spreading." I blurted.

Skylar stopped, everything about him froze. I could practically feel his heart skip a beat. He didn't look at me, he didn't say anything, he just stopped.

"I just found out but I guess I sort of knew for a while. I was having trouble breathing. Well I...I am having trouble breathing." I stammered.

"What does that mean?" He asked, his voice quiet, his eyes looking anywhere but at me.

I shrugged my shoulders, "It means more treatment. It means it's spreading." I watched his adam's apple rise and fall in his throat. "I know things are difficult because of everything." I said trying to keep names and situations out of the conversation for his sake, "But I still want to be friends. If you can."