Rosie's Thorns 🥀|18+|🥀

40 | Dissociation

Feel ~ Fletcher

《¤Rosie¤》

Shortly after Hana left to speak with her father, she called us and told us to head back to the safe house without her. Her father would give her a ride back to the house. As much as I didn't want to leave her, I knew she needed time with her father. They've been estranged for so many years, it would take them longer than a few minutes to catch up and possibly reconcile.

I drove her large black van back with Mío in the passenger seat. He was oddly silent and consumed by his own thoughts. As I shoved the gearshift into park just outside the little house, the man to my right let out a deep harsh breath. I turned to look at him and my stomach dropped. His head was tilted back into the headrest, his dark eyes staring up at the grey interior of the van. Both hands firmly grasped onto his thighs until his knuckles were pale and the tendons bounced. His chest was heaving as the Adams-apple in his throat bobbed with every harsh swallow.

"Mío?" I whisper worriedly.

He let out a strangled noise in the back of his throat. With a shake of his head, he released his knees and shoved the heels of his palms into his eyes. In that moment, I realized I'd fucked up.

Dom.

"Hey." I quickly unlatch my seatbelt and tug it off me. "Hey, look at me. Everything's okay. Everything will be okay. Look at me, Dom."

He let out another noise, this one sounding more like a grunt of disbelief. "Chuck... he's-"

"It's not your fault." I attempt to grab his wrist, but he shakes me off. "Dom! Listen to me. You aren't to blame. People make choices. You didn't make this choice for him."

"If I hadn't-"

"Stop it!" I grab his wrists roughly and tear them away from his face. He doesn't look at me. "Dom, you need to stop this. I'm serious. You aren't to blame."

"Rosie, just... just don't."

My jaw ticks as I release his wrists as if he'd burned me. "Don't? Hell no! If you think I'll give up that easily, then you have another thing coming."

I throw open my door and slam it with more force than necessary. He attempts to lock his door as I march around the van, but I click the remote and unlock it just before I tear it open.

"Get your ass out of this van now! You aren't about to let something that's out of your control beat your ass. You are fucking stronger than that, Dom. You aren't giving up. You aren't leaving me." The words catch in my throat as I pull myself up and reach around him. He doesn't stop me as I unlatch his seat belt. "You will get your ass in this house and take your life by the balls. You will not fall victim to this disorder."

I pull on his arms until eventually he humors me and let's me pull him out of the van. He stands towering over me, staring at the treetops, at the gravel, at the tiny house. Anywhere but me.

"Dom, if you leave me..." I can't bring myself to say it. I can't imagine that a man as lethal as Dominic Rivera could spiral to such dark thoughts. "You aren't leaving me. You just can't. I selfishly want you here. I want you to stay."

My chest burns and my lungs are tight as I clutch onto both of his wrists. With more effort than necessary, I pull him towards the porch. He doesn't fight me as I guide him up the steps and through the front door. He doesn't dig his heels into the floorboard as I lead him up the stairs and towards our shared room. I lock the door, as if somehow it would keep him in the tiny room with me.

I push him towards the bed and force him to sit on the edge of the mattress. He still has yet to meet my gaze since he surfaced. I'm trying to beat away the emotions bubbling up my throat. I'm trying my best to not allow the nausea to control my gag reflex. I'm trying not to fall apart as the man I love caves into himself in front of me.