Rosie's Thorns 🥀|18+|🥀

45 | Violet

Acróstico ~ Shakira

《¤Rosie¤》

He stares ahead with glossy eyes as his jaw clenches. It's finally began to sink in for us. At first we were just in shock, rolling through the punches and taking its brunt force through blinding numbness.

Now that we're alone. Now that it's finally sinking in. We count our losses.

My mother.

His Violet.

I had yet to feel the sorrow that should come with such news. I should be upset. I should be crying. The woman that raised me is dead. Yet, the only emotion that comes to me is the sense of disappointment. Disappointment because I'd never get the mother I'd always wanted. Disappointment because she gave me up the moment her life was in danger.

And then there was anger. Anger towards her. Anger towards myself. And then anger towards the people who'd killed her.

I didn't know how to feel, so I suppressed it. I pushed it away so I could take care of him. He clutched my thigh with one trembling inky hand just to anchor himself as he remained frozen at my side. I'd returned from Hana's room to find Dom in a daze on our bed, eyes wide and glossy as he stared straight ahead. He was flickering back and forth like a flame. One moment he was Dom and then the next Mío. His emotions were creating havoc within his mind. He was dissociating.

I stayed with him until he resurfaced. I didn't ask who he was. I didn't ask him questions. Instead I comforted him by messaging his other hand tenderly, murmuring words of encouragement as I do so. It wasn't until his head turned to me and his eyes lifted to meet mine that I realized he was present once more. I didn't know who he was in that moment, but I knew both of him were grieving the loss.

Violet was everything to Dom. A mother, a caregiver, a friend, or a drinking partner until her liver had enough. She was anything he needed her to be. For the longest time she was the only comfort he had. She tended his injuries. She fed him when he was starving. She was there when he needed someone the most.

And now she's gone and it was shattering him.

I cupped his cheek in my palm as his glossy eyes focused on me. There was a sad frown curving his lips, but the sorrow didn't reach his eyes.

Mio.

It was strange. I didn't know when I'd become aware of the differences between them. The slightest change of his expression and I just... knew.

"He'll be okay." His voice was a low rasp. He cleared his throat.

I nodded. I knew it was likely untrue, but Mio has yet to lie to me. "I have an idea. Help me?"

He gave a nod, but curiosity laced his uncertain expression. I grabbed his hand and led him out of the room and down the stairs. I listened closely to Hana's bedroom door as we passed and heard the faint muffle sobs of her aching heart.

As much as it hurt her, it needed to be done. Hana deserved someone who could love her endlessly and without it being split in half. Whether that be a woman or a man, it wasn't me. I couldn't give her what she wanted. She was looking for someone to grasp onto in the middle of the storm and has been using love as a way to avoid facing the eye of the beast. Whether she loved me or not, I wasn't certain. I just knew her affection for me was built on deflection. She needed an outlet and I had become that to her.

It wasn't healthy.

I brought Mío outside. A warm breeze caressed us in passing as I led him towards the backyard. It's the first time I've seen everything from this angle. As we near the thick brush and trees circling the home, Míos hand flex around mine. It was beautiful, even with the dead leaves lying on the soil and the thorny brush protecting the forgotten path.