29 | He Talks About Me?

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Shit

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Shit. I kiss Brooklyn again last night.

I knew I was drunk and I should've known better to do it again but I couldn't help myself. Her lips were so addicting, they were all I could ever think about.

Hayes' words ringed in my head as I thought about the kiss.

You don't deserve her.

You're only pulling her down by letting her into your disgrace of a life.

I mean he was right. All I've known in life was darkness. It's like it consumed me. I felt gloomy and dark whenever I was home or hanging out with my friends. It felt like a hopeless abyss of nothingness with no potential of a flourishing future.

Brooklyn was like the light that could illuminate a bright future and life for me. She helped me see there was more to life than working an unfulfilling job for the rest of my life. She was starting to be my main source of true happiness and I knew that was a huge burden to put onto someone.

I knew that if I let her into my life, eventually the light she carried all around her would dim due to the darkness and reality of my life. She didn't know a lot about me yet. She only knew what I allowed her to know which is why it was a terrifying thought for her to find everything out.

I think that's why I was so comfortable with Nadia and why I felt like I was in love with her. She knew practically everything about my life and she never judged me for it. But it wasn't hard to not judge when she also had that darkness in her life.

I enjoyed hanging with my friends because they seemed to be living similar lives to what I thought my future could be. Even hanging with Abby was a little stressful sometimes because I could see her ambition.

Something that I never had until now.

I didn't want to pour my heart out to Brooklyn, only for her to realize that she didn't want all this darkness to seep into their wonderful happy life. I was terrified of that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy she kissed me again and seems to possibly like me. I'm over the moon. I felt like the luckiest man on earth but I felt guilty for allowing her to possibly dim her sunshine by being with me.

"Jameson, did you invite your girlfriend Brooklyn over for dinner yet? I already came up with meal ideas," Mom asked me. I had helped Brooklyn clean up after the party. Drake drove us all home once he sobered up so we could sleep in our own beds tonight.

After Brooklyn and I were heavily making out in the jacuzzi for a few minutes, we decided to go back into the house to join the rest of our friends. All my friends were giving me knowing looks as we both showed up, hair tossled. We all sang happy birthday to Abby and watched as she opened her birthday gifts.

I had gotten her the gaming controller that she's been wanting for forever and she was so happy about it. I felt kind of proud of myself for a moment there.

The Light to My DarknessМесто, где живут истории. Откройте их для себя