Spade (MxM)

Chapter 57

Nathan

Standing in front of the conference room, I mentally prepared myself for what I'd meet on the other side of the double doors that stared back at me.
For the millionth time I let out a deep breath, feeling my palms sweaty and my heart beating fast, I closed and opened my eyes for more than five times.

It's gonna be okay, I kept chanting to myself.
There's gonna be people there, not just the both of us, but my mind would still drift to his side.
I wished I could just turn around and high tail out of here but I can't, I can't leave just like that, sooner or later I have to face him, and if there's one thing I've learnt over time, is that sooner is better than later.

Throwing caution to the wind, I pushed the doors gently and stepped inside, even without seeing him, I could already feel the air in the conference room shift, everything became cooler and more intense.

I discreetly let out a deep breath as my eyes moved up and scanned the room, seeing the familiar faces of the men I'd had three consecutive meetings with about this project, my eyes counted four men on one side of the table, totally eluding the fifth person, I looked to the other side and saw my secretary.

My mind was trying so hard to stop my eyes from wandering, but as rebellious as they are, the slowly moved towards the fifth person on the table and i sucked in a sharp breath, feeling my heart skip a beat, his eyes were already on me.

Scrutinizing, piercing and sharp, hard grey eyes stared back at me, but unlike before they didn't scare me, but they didn't look comforting either, they carried a lot of emotions in them, but his face, his face still looked the same as they did a week ago.
Making my mind drift to what happened a week ago, his hands wrapped around my throat as he choked me, I cleared my throat swallowing hard before I looked away from him.

Making my way towards my chair, I avoided all forms of eye contact with him, but my skin could still feel the piercing gaze of his eyes on me, I could feel holes being drilled inside my body with his eyes.

"Sorry for the delay gentleman" I mutttered, looking at all of them and a few nodded before I grabbed the chair and fixed myself on it.

I was sitting directly in front of Spade, he still hadn't looked away and I still couldn't look at him again.
"Shall we begin"? I asked with a heavy sigh as they all nodded in agreement, I looked at my secretary and nodded before she got up, opening the Manila folder, she passed out the paperwork around to each five of them

I watched them all as they went through it, they were the plans for the project.
Thank God I had them drafted out way before the whole Spade and my father charade and also Matteo kind of helped me go through it, made a few changes.

We kind of talked a lot after that night that he came to my apartment.
It was too soon but I kind of feel safe around him, more than i felt with Spade, but still something inside me was still itching for even a second with Spade, just like I spent with Matteo.

With Matteo it's quite different, I don't feel the things I feel whenever I'm around Spade, with Matteo.
The tingling feeling, the chills, the excitement, none of it I feel around Matteo.
It's just very normal with him
But with Spade nothing was normal, nothing at all.

I could see some of them nod their heads as they went through it, all except one person, the man sitting across from me, he hadn't even looked at the piece of paper in front of him

Apparently there was something about my face that was so interesting to him that he couldn't look away, maybe he was planning different ways to kill me, or maybe he was looking at the bruises on my face that had almost completely healed.