Spade (MxM)

Chapter 113

Spade

I didn't think I would meet Nate home when I left my place but I was relieved when I found his car in front of his apartment building, the place kind of felt different now that I was coming here to see Nate, it didn't feel like I owned my building again, it felt like I was coming to a different place entirely.

And when I saw him I realized how much I had missed being around him, I didn't even know I could feel this way for anyone in my life, feelings, this was something I was always afraid of, because of the way my life had turned out because of that.

If my parents didn't feel for each other they wouldn't have gotten married, let alone have kids before my dad would abuse my mom and sometimes take his anger out on me, i never let the man's backlash to fall on Matteo, even though our father always wanted to pour out all his anger on Matteo.

Most of his anger was directed on Matteo, I always made sure to take the brunt of my father, saving Matteo from it.

And now I was feeling things, crazy things.
Missing someone, thinking about him all the time and having my heart beat wildly for him.
The more i stood kissing Nate, the more i didn't think I could stop feeling like this for Nate.

This feeling I had in my heart for Nate, it wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon.
I felt Nate's hand move up slowly and tenderly as he placed them on my shoulder, I could tell he wasn't completely comfortable around me, but it was okay, that was one of the reasons why I was here today, so we could talk and set things straight.

I pulled away from him to give us both a little time to breath as my chest was already growing hot due to lack of air, his lips were slightly swollen and red as he peered up at me, his eyes soft and calm, he was breathing hard as I stared down at him, wanting to run my thumb along those beautiful lips

I smiled calmly at him, I wanted to tell him I'd missed him, but something was holding me back, I didn't really know what but something strong was pushing the words back into my throat.
Maybe it was still the small part of me that still believed in the words of my mind, that feelings were bad and they made one soft, and that they were a weakness.

But I stopped myself before I told him that, instead I asked him a question
"Are you surprised to see me"?

He swallowed, as if only just realizing now that his mouth was left hanging midair.
He licked his lips, even though it was just a harmless act, probably on impulse, it still didn't help the sweet feeling it erupted inside of me
"Uh... Yeah, I was just about to come to the club" he muttered out, and I just smiled, my hands still wrapped around his waist loosely, he was putting on a tank top and a grey sweatpants, it fit him loosely but not as loose as the one he'd wore when he passed the night at my place.

"Well I wasn't really busy today, and I didn't think coming to the club was necessary, since we'd barely have enough time together there, so I decided why don't I come instead, I haven't seen you in a while" I said, even though I'd seen him at the club, it didn't count because we didn't spend time together

"Ooh" he mumbled wordlessly as he stared at me, I could tell he didn't really know what to say next, and that on it's own was something I wanted to get out of the way, I wanted Nate to be able to talk to me freely, not that he didn't talk to me now, but there was always something holding him back.

The only time he ever talked to me like he didn't care was when he was pissed off about something, and there was something about Nate being pissed off that made me feel hot and aroused.

I quickly let my hands hold his, feeling the sweat and moist in them, already knowing the young man was nervous, I intertwined my hand with his before I pulled him with me to the couch, sitting on it and helping him sit too.