Spade (MxM)

Epilogue

Spade sighed out still looking at Nate, he gently brought his hand and tried to hold Nate's hand, but the young man just shrugged it off, trying to move away from Spade

"Baby what's wrong"? He asked, watching as Nate snickered and scrunched his nose up, he turned to look at Spade with disbelief dancing in his eyes.

"Are you seriously asking me that" Nate whispered out, and Spade sighed before he sat down on the bedside beside Nate

"I'm sorry" he whispered, causing Nate to scoff, Spade didn't know what else to say at that point, that was all he could come up with, he really didn't have any excuse to give.
"I know I should have listened to you, I shouldn't have left that day" he added, this didn't even seem to pacify Nate as he only turned further away from Spade.

Spade grabbed both his hands and held them firmly "please look at me Nate" he whispered, his voice sounded as if he was close to tears, but Nate wasn't sure someone like Spade was capable of crying.

Not that he wanted Spade to cry, infact he had already forgiven the man but he just wanted him to feel bad about what he did, it wasn't completely right.

"I've been staring at your closed eyes for the past one month, I want to look into your eyes, please" he whispered out shakily, as he brought Nate's hand up and kissed it gently, the wetness caused Nate's eyes to snap at him, he was used to Spade doing that while he was unconscious, and even though he was trying to act mad, it warmed his heart.

Seeing those brown eyes look at him, Spade felt his tensed up shoulders ease up, he swallowed hard, pushing the lump away but the tears stinging at his eye lids were something he couldn't just push away, maybe he needed to let them all out.
"I'm sorry about everything I said to you, I didn't mean any of it, I know I should have listened to you and not say anything of those things to you..." He paused, swallowing again "I let my anger to blind me to the things you had been through, how strong you are, and I will never forgive myself for those things I said to you, I don't deserve your forgiveness and I don't deserve a second chance from you" he swallowed, but before he could stop it, the first tear dropped, landing on Nate's hand as his eyes grew wide.
"But I love you Nathan, I love you so much that I'd rather die than be without you, my life has been miserable since you weren't in it and now I realized that you are my life, and without you I don't have a life" he whispered out, his voice croaky and trembling..

Nate could already feel his resolve falter as he stared at Spade who had tears dropping from his eyes.

Never did he think something like this was possible, but it was happening and he didn't know how to feel about it.
"Spade..." He whispered but Spade quick to cut him off as he placed his hands on Nate's lip

"Shhhh, let me finish baby" he whispered, sniffing loudly "I'm sorry I didn't realize how much pain you had been through and I just let you go like that, nothing I say will excuse my act towards you...." He did something Nate didn't expect as he got up and went down on his knees, causing Nate to gasp out as he tried to pull him up
"Give me another chance baby, and I swear on my mother's grave that I will and cherish you with everything I have, I've never loved anyone the way I love you, and I want you to be with me forever" he whispered out.

Nate sighed out feeling the wetness on his own cheek too
"Spade, I'm tainted, that man... The things..." Spade cut him off again, this time he stretched before placing his index finger on Nate's lips.

"I don't care what he did to you, it doesn't matter, I love you and that's all that matters, whatever he did to you, doesn't change how I feel about you" he explained, causing Nate to swallow as his own tears were now uncontrollable.

Nate pulled himself up from the bed before he tried to pull Spade up, he complied and sat on the bed before Nate buried his face into Spade's chest, feeling his sobs wreck through his body softly, soaking Spade's shirt.