Finding Home (Completed)

Chapter I

The nights game of wicked grace had ended hours earlier, Isabela had retired to her suite with Hawke in tow, followed soon after by the departure of Aveline and Donnic.

When Merrill stood to leave Varric stood as well, "I'll walk you home daisy" he said. "Why, thank you Varric" she replied. As they made for the door, it became painfully obvious that Fenris was left alone with Anders.

He eyed his drink and considered abandoning it and the mage, but he had barely touched it and in his opinion, he had not nearly had enough to drink.

"I just don't s'understand why you can't see that mages should be free" Anders slurred from where he was facedown in his arms on the table. Fenris had grown tired of this argument, why couldn't this mage accept that they were not likely to reach an agreement on this particular subject.

"I think you've had enough to drink, mage" Fenris grumbled as Anders wobbled his way into an upright position. "I mean really Fenris, ur always so broody about everything, ur missin' all the fun in life."

Now the mage was just rambling about whatever came to mind and that was not somewhere Fenris intended to go. "Mage, take a potion and we will see that you make it past the door" Fenris said with a look somewhere between scowling and pouting. Why it seemed he was always responsible for this mage, was beyond him.

Anders did as he was told and drank a potion from his belt. Fenris sat quietly watching him as it started to take effect and his eyes became less clouded. "Why are you doing this to yourself mage?" The last few games had ended this way, Anders drunk and nearly drooling on himself come the end of the evening.

Anders met his eye as he poured healing magic into himself in an attempt to speed the potions effects. "I...I don't know" Anders mumbled, placing his elbows on the table and letting his chin fall into his hands. "It's just never enough, no matter how much Justice and I put into this, it'll never be enough."

Anders eyes flitted to the table and his shoulders slumped forward in defeat. Fenris fixed his gaze on the mage across the table, and that was the sting of familiarity squeezing his chest, making him feel claustrophobic. He knew that feeling, he had been Danarius' pet. Anger surged through him and he didn't realize he was making any sound until Anders spoke. "Fenris, your growling. Why are you growling? Are you having a terrible life too?" he rambled on again.

"Come mage, we will get you home", Fenris sighed as he got to his feet. Shaking the thoughts from his mind, he grabbed Anders arm and hauled him up. With support from Fenris, Anders managed to make it out the door into the cool crisp air of Kirkwall. "Why do you do this Fenris, I know you hate me, hate what I stand for." Anders tone was low with emotion and it pulled at Fenris in a mixer of irritation and hurt. He sighed and stopped, leaning Anders against a wall, he looked at his face and caught his eye.

"I do not hate you mage, I do not hate what you stand for, I can disagree without hate." They stood silent for several moments, eyes trained on the others until Fenris broke the silence. "You do not seem to understand, I have.....difficulties... mages have not been kind to me. I was....used as seen fit by the mage that was my master. There was no concern for what I wanted or how I felt." His eyes shifted to the ground and his brow furrowed, creases cutting into his forehead as he shuffled his bare feet against the cold stone ground. Fenris was not an open person, these words did not come easily to him.

Anders was sobering up fast and he pushed himself away from the wall, taking a step towards Fenris. His voice was sincere as he whispered, "I would be kind to you Fenris, I have been already." It was meant as a comfort, but this was sensitive territory and Fenris growled, "I do not want your pity mage! What was done is done, but my opinion is one I came by harshly and you would do well to remember that" he spat.

And that was what Fenris had been trying to avoid, allowing his temper to flare with the mage. He didn't know when, but at some point he had begun to notice the tiny flinches Anders made when he spat angry words at him. He'd started to care and it had opened an opportunity for him to really see this mage, what he saw, was not what he'd expected.

The shame Fenris felt when speaking of such things was overwhelming and when he raised his eyes back to Anders, it was to find that he was much closer then he had been.

"Fenris, I'm so sorry...shit...I should have..." Anders stammered and reflexively reached out and grabbed Fenris' hand only to freeze when he realized what he'd done. Fenris didn't like being touched, it caused him pain and Anders eyes widened when he didn't pull back. A sound escaped his lips that was something like a ragged purr and it sent a sensation through Anders that went straight to his cock.

And that was different, Fenris and Anders hated each other, didn't they? You could ask anyone and their answer would surely be yes. Fenris looked at him seemingly lost as to what should happen next, but made no move to reclaim his hand.

"Would you like to talk more Fenris? I know how you feel, when I was in the tower, some of my experiences were...disturbing." A moment of silence passed and Anders quirked an eyebrow at him, "Alright" he said quietly, "You may accompany me to my mansion and we shall discuss this further, with the assistance of wine." Anders nodded his head in agreement as Fenris reclaimed his hand and turned towards hightown.