hundred letters - harry styles

Letter 11

Dear Daisy,

your funeral was yesterday. It was hell. Just how I expected it to be, people came to me and hugged me as if I was some sort of emotional unstable piece of weakness. I am emotionally unstable, I just don't want people to think that. I haven't talked to those assholes of people in ages, and they pretended to be my best friends. They were all so fakely nice to me. I don't need their pity, I don't need them at all. I need you Daisy. And only you. Maybe I need my parents as well, just so I know that people still care for me. But they didn't show up yesterday. My parents are so ignorant that they weren't even there to support their own broken son. I cried so much, at your brothers speech, at your parents speech, even at my own speech. And no real friend was there to hold me and tell me that they're here for me. Jake didn't come, my parents didn't come. I was alone. Without you I am nothing, I don't have a single person to actually talk to. My best friend turned out to be an asshole, my parents always were assholes. And you, you aren't here with me. I know if you were, you would hold me in such a situation, I would hold you too. and I would kiss you just like I always did. I would do so much if you were here.

Your parents mentioned you fighting with them because of me, you stood up for me and cared. That was when I cried the most. You said that you don't care what your parents think abou us, that my tattoos don't make me less of a person, your parents still don't like me. But at least they're trying to make things work between us. Now we have to stick together. At times like these love and hate aren't different from each other. Your parents were the only ones who came to our flat to check on me. No one else talked to me in the past moth. No one else actually cared and wanted me to be ok. I really appreciate that. Maybe one day we actually will get on and maybe even laugh together.

Your brothers speech really touched me as well. He said that you were everyones crush in primary school and that he never wanted you to date these dicks that were in your class. He said that he was happy that you had me and that his only wish was that we still get married before you died. Unfortunaly his wish will never become real.

When I started talking in front of the people, they all looked at me, they all listen to what I had to say. It kind of bothered me but I wrote this so people could hear it. I wrote it for you as well Daisy. I want you to know that no matter how long we are away from each other, I will always love you and nothing will ever change that.

When I proposed to you, I had in mind that I'll sing on our wedding day. I will sing for her. I always said to myself. And lately I've been listening to the radio and then this song came on. I don't know the name but it was like this.

Cause everytime we touch,

I get this feeling,

And everytime we kiss,

I swear I can fly.

Can't you feel my heart beat fast?

I want this to last,

Need you by my side.

And everytime we touch

I feel the static.

And everytime we kiss,

I reach for the sky.

Can't you feel my heart beat so?

I can't let you go

Want you in my life.



I miss you terribly Daisy, every day, every second, every time I sit down on the sofa you once sat and everytime I brush my teeth where you once brushed your teeth. I miss you so much and it hurts so bad, but I am strong and it won't kill me, not now at least. I just really can't handle it anymore, the distance between us is much too big and I want you here by my side and in my arms. Daisy just make sure you're safe. So I don't have to worry.

I love you Daisy