hundred letters - harry styles

Letter 20

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Songs:

Stay - Miley Cyrus

Towers - Little MIx

Summer Love - One Direction

I'm A Fool To Want You - Frank Sinatra

Dear Daisy,

Three weeks since I first began with the job. It's not much but it feels much longer. Everyone is so nice and I actually have quite fun, Dan and me are pretty close I guess. Since Jake is a shitty friend I feel like Dan is a good change. He is much older than me, I know but sometimes I need this older friend to give me wise tipps. 

He is a father, he knows how to take care of someone, even if I don't want him to feel that way about me, I'm glad he is there. 

I told him everything, I told him about your death and about my problems. I told him everything and I know I shouldn't trust people after only three weeks, but I felt like sharing this with him and after all, I need to let it out. 

Dan told me that whenever I need someone, he will be there for me. He said that I am always welcome at his place. I'm so glad I met him.

I was at his place a few times in the past two weeks, his wife cooked some diner and I met his kids, they are so cute. His daughter's name is Rose. 

She reminds me of you, the first time I met her she pulled my trousers and asked me what I was. I had to laugh a little to be honest. What are you, she asked me. I told her that I was Harry, a friend of her daddy, so she smiled and ran back in her room, only to come out a while after, showing me her favourite doll. Her doll's name is Daisy. 

She wanted me to play with her Daisy. I thought I would cry when I heard someone say your name, but in fact, I smiled and played with her. It did feel strange, not only to play with a five year old but calling someone else Daisy. 

Dan's wife Barbara is a really nice lady, her cooking skills are amazing and she is quite the perfect housewife. She doesn't work and spends everyday with her children. It amazes me how sweet and gentle she is with them, I would probably lose it after a second. The kids won't stop arguing when it comes to bed time. I think you would handle it perfectly Dase, you'd kiss them good night and read some lame ass fairy tale. 

And I'd wait for you in the other room so we can make love like we always did. 

We actually would be that kind of parents.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking about what our future would have been like, would we have gotten kids, what would we name them, how would we raise them? Would they consider us as good parents. There are so many questions we'll never have the answer to. 

But I think I got over the shock, I'm half healed. I know that this is real life and that we can't go back in time. I accepted it and I began to live with it. 

Only sometimes I cry and only every now and then I would watch photographs of you. I did get better, a lot better. Which unfortuantely doesn't mean that I'm happy, but I'm on my way, I will be happy. 

I started reading, I haven't read in a very long time and now that I have to write I think reading is important.

So I basically I opened the drawer next to your side of the bed and read Pride and Prejudice all over again. It's still like the first time, thats what I like about books. They don't change, once you read them, you can read them again and again. It won't disappoint you. You will love the book as much as you loved it at the first time. 

I had to write again, this time I had to write a short love story. 

I tried Dase, I tried. 

The Dreamers 

do you have to sleep to dream?

"Are you ready?" he asked her, not wanting to let her go.

"I think I am," a tear  tumbled down her cheek.

"Are you sure?" he pushed her further.

"No.." her voice cracks. "I don't want to go," she said. 

They looked in each other's eyes for a while, both not wanting to be in that situation. When he opened his arms and rubbed her back, not knowing that it will be the last time he will ever do this, he started cying as well. 

Two dreamers standing here, only minutes before they will have to say goodbye, forever.

But they don't know it yet, they don't know that this is the last time they'll ever see each other, they don't enjoy their last minutes together as much as they should. 

When she walked away, she looked back once more and mouthed a little I love you.

He waited until he can't see her anymore. But he didn't know that he won't see her ever again. When he turned his back to the empty road, he had no clue that his life would turn out like that, he never expected any of this to happen, but this story did not start with once upon a time and it surely won't end with happily ever after..

He never stopped loving her, he will never stop loving her. She means the world to him and  no matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to get over it. He can't get over their dream, what happened to it? And what happened to her?

What happens to the dream, when the dreamer dies?" 

It's quite sad but it reminds me of us Dase, it reminds me of how much I miss you.

I love you Daisy

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