hundred letters - harry styles

Letter 47

Dear Daisy,

Yesterday I was at your grave.

First your parents picked me up from my flat and then we drove down to your grave. In the car your mother said that she was happy that I asked them to visit you because they haven't been at your grave for a month. She also said that if I want to I can stay for dinner at their house later on.

So when we arrived at the cemetery and walked down to your grave, I felt strange. I didn't feel like crying nor did I feel sad. Just strange.

But when I read beloved fiancé I did feel sad.

I put your favourite flowers on your grave and a little letter saying Daisies for Daisy, in love Harry. Then I lay down beside you and began to laugh, I laughed because I thought about your favourite joke, and also the only one you knew and always told people so you would seem funny. So I asked you what the elephant asked the naked man, and then I waited a little, pretending you hear me and then I said it's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?

And then I imagined you laughing by my side, just like you always did. You somehow managed to laugh about the same joke your entire life and you never got sick of telling it, you loved this joke.

Then I talked to you. I told you about the letters that I write and I told you about how much I miss you, but how happy I am to be here with you today and then I didn't say anything for a little while. I just lay on the grass next to you and closed my eyes. I did have a smile on my face though and I did feel really great. For once, I smiled and I somehow thought about all the laughs we had and all the times tears were pouring down our cheeks and how our stomachs used to hurt from laughing so hard. I was so, so happy.

And when your parents asked me if I would mind them going inside the little cafe outside of the cemetery, I said that I don't mind at all. I asked them if I could stay a little longer and they just nodded and smiled and your mother said Take all the time you need, Harry. We love you.

I love them too. Very much even. So when they left and it got a little darker I was still right next to you. Besides a woman on the other side of the cemetery, I was the only one. And then I told you a few more jokes. I laughed out loud and I also cried. I cried and I told you about my scars and how I hate to look at them. But then I smiled again cause I put my bare arm on the stone above you and I imagined you caressing them. They were so near you and I felt like you made them disappear. At least the ones I have inside.

By the time it got darker, I looked up at the stars and then I said that it was nice laying next to you for hours and hours, just talking. It felt great and it helped me clear my head and think about life.

I closed my eyes again and thought about how you would be here next to me, talking about how pretty stars are and what a great life they must have, so carefree and so wild. They have the whole universe and once it's dark, they guide us little tiny, itty bitty people down here, they make us happy and they give us a topic to talk about on a first date. They make us wish and for little kids, stars are so magical.

They live to please others and together they form a beautiful sea of little lights in the darkest nights.

And what felt like five hours later, I stood up and looked at your tombstone one more time. I whispered an I love you and then I left. I left with a feeling of satisfaction and happiness. And when I was outside of the cemetery, I looked back one more time and felt a single tear rolling down my cheek. It wasn't a sad tear though.

I think it was meant to be the last tear I shed on you. Because now, I felt genuinely good. I felt like a newborn. That visit changed me.

I stood there for a few more minutes and then the woman that was in there with me, left too. She smiled at me and I saw that her make up was ruined. But she smiled. And it didn't seem like a forced one.

Maybe spending time with dead people actually makes you happy. Maybe that's the key to happiness.

When I smiled back at the woman she turned and drove away with her car. So I decided to go to the little cafe where your parents said they would be.

When I spotted them I sat down next to your mother and your father asked me How is she? So I told him that you were good and then I smiled, because I just felt like it. I told them about how much happier I am right now and then I hugged your dad and thanked him for saving me, for giving me another chance without me knowing that I needed one. I didn't cry though. I didn't want to.

Then your parents and I drove back to their house and your mother cooked a very late dinner. We ate in the garden and talked about you. We showed each other photographs and told each other stories. We shared memories we had with you and we had a few good laughs.

I'm so glad that your parents are my family, I really don't know what I would do without them.

Now that I finally let go of all the negativity in my life, I want to thank you again for helping me on my way, for listening to me yesterday. For making me feel like I'm not even that alone.

I love you Daisy

-

here it is.

my FAVOURITE letter in the whole story, next to the last one haha

I hope you like it!

vote and comment to let me know what you think of it.

ily