hundred letters - harry styles

Letter 49

Dear Daisy,

I just came home from work. Dan asked me if he could come over later in the evening and we're going to have a men's night out or something like that. 

Actually, I'm quite nervous. I haven't been out and in bars for months. The last time was when Jack pathetically tried to get me out on Christmas. Which was only a month after you passed away, what an asshole. 

But I feel like going out, really. I feel like meeting new people and having a drink or two, maybe even get high. I feel like it's been too long since I did these things and I hardly ever got high when I was together with you, because I know how much you hated drugs. I also know that I didn't miss them during my time with you, but now that the opportunity is given, I might as well just take it. 

Dan knows a lot of people, I do too actually. It's just that they all left when you passed. They all just disappeared and didn't show any hint of sympathy. But who needs people like that? People like my parents, Jack and all the rest of those arses? 

I need people like Dan in my life, he met me at my worst and he still is here, by my side, on my way back to the best. 

That's what you actually need, you know Dase, people who don't look at you with a sad face and say I'm sorry. You need people who smile at you and tell you that everything will be fine again. People who encourage and cheer you up. 

Who needs all that negativity anyway? Who needs people who confirm your inner sadness and grieve with you? 

No one needs those, the world just needs more Dan's and your father's. The good quality people.

Also, what I wanted to tell you, your parents go on a holiday in a week. They will fly to Miami and spend a month there. They said they aren't getting younger and now that I'm okay they don't feel bad for leaving me alone in London. 

I'm glad that they booked this holiday, they really deserve some time-out from all the daily shite they have to put up with here in England. 

They even asked me if I wanted to come with them, but I think they too, need some time alone. Especially some time away from me. As much as I love them, and as much as I know they love me, I also know that they need some worry-less time in Miami. So they can have fun with all the other toothless old people. 

I'm kidding, your parents aren't that old. They're actually quite young for having a daughter at your age. Speaking about that, their birthday is coming up soon actually. Fortunately they were born on the same day in the same year. Makes it easier to remember. 

Your birthday is soon too, in about a month, on September 18th, what a beautiful date to celebrate a birthday. I don't really know what to do on your birthday. I thought about going to your grave with your parents and Dan. Just visiting you and eating cake above you. I just want to do something, you know? 

I don't want to leave you like that and not care about it. I want you to feel the little party under all the mud and bugs. Maybe you'll feel it so much that you'll wake up and scream at us all for being so loud. 

That would be quite funny, actually. 

And I also don't know what to give your parents. I thought about giving them a nice romantic weekend in Paris or Italy. I think they would quite enjoy that kind of present. 

I am maybe taking them out for dinner in a french restaurant and then I will hand them little envelopes with the french flag on it and in there I will put the tickets for the flight and the reservation for the hotel. 

I think I might really do that. It's exactly the type of present that I like.

Simple, but effective. 

One more thing until I have to get ready, I am thinking about a new tattoo. I was thinking about it a lot actually and I want to dedicate a tattoo to you. After all the things you have done for me, I think a tattoo is the least I can do to show you how grateful I am. 

And also, I think it might be like having you physically on myself where ever I go, not only in my heart but also on my chest. 

You know where my two birds are, right? Well I thought about tattooing a not too big, not too small D between them. So the birds can protect you, and you're near to my heart and you keep me balanced because you'll be in the middle of my body, or almost. 

I think it's quite reasoned, and not just anything.

I hope you're okay with me getting a tattoo, I don't really know if you actually mind, I don't even know if I'm really doing it, it was just an idea I guess.

Anyway, Daisy I hope you're feeling alright up there, I think about you a lot, about all our laughs and all our tears, our ups and downs and everything in between.

Dase, I miss you and I am sending you a huge, enormous, gigantic, Harrybear hug up there. I miss you a lot, Daisycat. 

And I'm sorry for using our silly stupid nicknames, I just miss them a lot, you know?

So, that's all really, my life isn't too interesting at the moment, I hope you have more fun up there, I hope you party every night with all your wonderful friends up there. 

I love you Daisy

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quick information:

I AM PLANNING A SEQUEL TO THIS STORY ONCE ITS FINISHED SO KEEP UP THE GREAT VOTING AND COMMENTING

ALSO LET'S PLAY A GAME AND LEAVE SUGGESTIONS WHO YOU IMAGINE DAISY TO BE

also please vote and comment it would mean so much

ily all babes 

stay fab xx