The Chase ▹ Ashton Irwin

CHAPTER SIXTY ONE

"You're such an idiot," My father laughed. "Thinking only about your self, huh?"

I looked over to my mother, but she didn't dare look up from the floor that she stared down at. Her body was trembling, as if the shame my father always gave her was starting to really take over her. I wanted to put an end to this. I needed to. But what could I do? I'm just a stupid kid. A stupid little kid, who can't seem to do anything right.

"Please stop." Was all I could manage to say. My mother's eyes shot up at me, fillied with desperate tears. "Ashton," she said quietly. "Go into another room."

"Noooo, why should he leave?" My father slurred. The smell of booze was so incredibly disgusting in the small kitchen.

"Because he doesn't deserve to see me like this," My mother said, her eye brows furrowing angrily. She got up off the floor and stood infront of my dad, a look of pure fear and fury in her eyes. "Or see you like this."

"Do you think I care one bit?" He bellowed, followed by a heartless laugh. I took a step back, because I was beginning to grow scared as well. I felt my eyes widen as he grabbed my mother by the wrists, with such obvious force that she let out a shriek, and shut her eyes. I watched in pure terror as my father just laughed his usual satanic laugh. I wanted to walk right up to him, and tell him what a fucking monster he is, but I couldn't find the strength in my shaking legs. My mother's eye's opened and looked over to me as my father ranted about how much he hates all of us. Her expression told me to run, so I did. I turned on my heels, rushing into the nearest room and shut the door softly behind me. I tried to keep my mufled cries silent, because the last thing I wanted was for the monster to hear me and come for me as well.

I burried my face in my hands, trying my best to flush out the yelling that seemed to echoe throughout the whole house. Hope flooded into my heart as I heard the front door being forced open and slammed shut.

Is the monster gone?

"Ashton?" My mother's voice said quietly as the door of the room I had trapped myself in opened. I slowly looked up at her, confusion and sadness pulsing through my veins. I didn't know what to say as she sighed, sitting down next to me and running her soft hands through my hair. I didn't dare look her in the eyes. Mine were driping with tears; I didn't want her to know how scared I was.

"I'm sorry," She said. "For everything."

"Mummy, it's not your fault..." My voice trailed off and I didn't know what else to say. I feel like I've said this to her so many times, that it doesn't matter what my input was anymore. It doesn't, thats why. It never will, either. Might as well just keep running.

I couldn't help the hot tears from running down my cheeks as I still didn't know what else to say. Finally, I just sighed and layed my head in the crook of my mother's neck. This is probably the only time I will have with her, until I'm forced back into hiding, too terrified to stand up for myself.

"Why does it have to be like this?" I cried.



"Be like what?" My eyes shot open as Brooke's voice answered me. I didn't even realize I was in another stupid flashback until the heat from outside periced my skin and I felt Brooke's hand gently rubbing my back. Realization from what just happened minutes ago made my heart sink.

"What?" I said, sitting up. "Uh, nothing."

We were both silent for a coulple seconds. I wiped my eyes, embarrased beyond comparrison. I probably look like a fucking wuss right now. In front of Jessie, in front of Nick, and Luke, and most importantly...infront of Brooke. I didn't meant to break down like that, but Jessie went way too fucking far this time.

*Brooke's POV*

"I'm sorry." Was all Ashton said after a long pause. Why is he sorry?

"Ashton, why are you sorry?" I asked him. His eyes were on mine, and they were a glossy green.

I wanted to throw up, to be completely honest. Everything that had just happened a couple minutes ago made me feel sick to my stomach, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the things Jessie says to him, and I'm tired of the things they all must put through Ashton's mind. Once again, it wasn't fair. Not one bit was it fair, and nor will it ever be fair.

It also wasn't like Ashton, to just take in all the words Jessie and Nick said to him, as if he was so powerless that he couldn't even say something back. Through out that whole argument, I was waiting for Ashton say something...anything. But it wasn't until the last second that Ashton's temper snapped right in half.

"I don't really know, actualy," he replied, sniffling. "I just am."

"There's nothing to be sorry about." I said, running my hand through the hair that fell over his face. Ashton scooted closer to me, laying his head back onto my shoulder. "Just forget about it."

"I try to, but its hard to." Ashton mumbled. I placed my hand on his back, rubbing little circles over his haunched muscles and planting a kiss on his soft head of hair. I realized then that we've been out of class for 20 minutes. We should be in english right now, but I can tell Ashton's not going to want to go back in there, especialy because Jessie is in that class. I didn't really want to, either. I kept quiet, as did Ashton as we sat there, alone on the grass outside the gymnasium.

"What should we do?" I asked out of nowhere. Ashton sat up, his hair falling over his eyes. He looked so tired; more tired than I've ever seen him before. He pushed his messy hair back, rubbing his hands on his eyes. His arms slumped down, and his fingers intertwined with one another in his lap. He looked over to me, his eye lids heavy.

"I want to go home." He said quietly. I don't blame him, honestly. I tilted my head in sympathy, and nodded slowly. I got up off the ground, brushing off the dead grass stuck to my backside and I held out my hand to help Ashton up as well.

"I'll see you later, okay?" I asked as we started walking back towards our school.

"Wait," he said, stopping dead in his tracks. I turned around to face him, and he had the most scared look on his face. "I said I wanted to go home, but not alone."

I was so confused by the look on his face. Why did he look so scared? It wasn't like we were about to go into battle or anything, why did he look so worried? But, aside from that, hope fluttered through my heart because the last thing I wanted to do right now was go back into that classroom alone. I softly smiled, taking Ashton's hand in mine. His dimples tiredly popped up on his cheeks as he wrapped his long fingers around mine, the warmth causing me to feel better already. I know I'm ditching class right now, but I really don't care at this point.

...

We ended up going to my house, since my parents won't be home till late tonight; they both have work things going on. I could tell Ashton didn't want to go to his place, because its hot and stuffy as fuck in that trailer.

"You look sleepy." I said as i pushed the front door open, hoping a smile would come out of Ashton.

"I am very tired." Ashton laughed, his eyes less sad than before.

"There's my favorite smile!" I said happily, stopping at the base of the stairs. Ashton walked right up to me, his eyes sincere and his smile joyful.

"You know," He said. "Now would be the perfect time to kiss me."

I laughed, and leaned up, locking my lips with his. His lips were the usual soft, but even more gentle than they usually were. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let his arms come around my waist.

"Why are we at the bottom of my stair case?" I giggled inbetween his lips. Ashton's low chuckle traveled through my mouth as I pushed my tongue into his. His grip around my waist tighted and I let out a small shriek as I felt my body being lifted into the air.

"Ashton!" I laughed, wrapping my legs around his torso as he carried me up the stairs. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, Ashton's cheeky and playful laugh echoing through the living room.

"Yes Lovey?" He laughed, his now high-pitched voice cracking slightly. His hips swiveled underneath my waist with every step her took, and his arms were locked together under me to keep me from falling. I felt my back against the door to my room as Ashton pushed it open, leading both of our bodies to my bed. Ashton's arms gently set me down onto the bed, and he climbed on top of me, his legs strattling my waist.

"Still your prisoner, aren't I?" I joked, raising an eye brow at him. Ashton giggled as he brushed a couple loose hairs out of my face. He leaned down and kissed my foread, scooting down so his head rested on my stomach.

"I feel like now I'm your prisoner." He laughed as I ran my hands gently through his hair. We both went silent for a couple seconds, and I could hear Ashton's familiar breathing. I've noticed, from the many times I've slept in the same bed as him, his breathing becomes heavier as he grows more tired. I've always thought it was realy adorable, and now I can tell how tired he really is.

I rememebered then what he had told me this morning, about how he couldn't fall asleep last night until 3 in the morning. Maybe that's why he was so out if it right now? I wondered what could possibly  keep him awake so long. 

"Ashton?" I asked to break the silence. Ashton sat up and looked over to me, and sincere smile on his face. "Yeah?" He replied.

"Why are you so tired?" I asked. Ashton's eyes looked down to his hands that were folded in his lap. He was silent for a couple moments, and I waited patiently to hear what he would say to me. Ashton shrugged, and instantly I knew better than to just go with that.

"Ashton," I said sternly. He looked back up at me, and I raised my eyebrows. "C'mon."

"Fine," Ashton sighed. "I had a nightmare."

"Again?" I asked.

"Well, yeah," Ashton replied. "It was terrible."

"What was it about?" I asked. Ashton fell silent once again, and his face looked just like it did back at school: terrified.

"You hated me." He finally said. I felt my eyes widen at his sudden words, confusion bubbling up inside of me. 

"Why would I ever..." my voice trailed off. "...Hate you?"

"Because of what people like Jessie say about me." Ashton replied quietly.

I felt my eyeborws furrow against my eyes, and I stared at him in disbelief. I didn't know what made Ashton's mind ever think I could ever hate him, even if it was just a dream. Does he really think the things people say affect my perspective on him? I didn't know what to do to make this situation less miserable, so I just reached over, and took his hand in mine. It was hot and sweaty, much like mine probably was.

"Ashton," I said softly. "You don't think I listen to them, do you?"

"Well, I don't know," Ashton replied. "Do you?"

"Of course not!" I said. "They see someone that they barely know anymore, but I don't see what they do at all. Jessie is obviously very, very immature, and I bet 99% of the things she said aren't even true, am I right?"

"Yeah-"

"Of course I am! Because I don't care what people say, and you shouldn't either. It really hurt me, to hear all those harsh words they sad to you and you didn't stand up or yourself, and I don't want you to be scared to do that because you think it will only make things worse. Because, it's not going to make anything worse at all."

Ashton nodded slowly. "I just don't want anyone hating you."

"Don't worry about me," I said. "I don't need anyone beside you. Remember, you and me?"

Ashton was still quiet, but his face was softening up, back to the usual and chirpy expression he always had. "Come here." He said, tiredly opening his arms. I smiled and crashed into them, instantly wrapping my arms around his torso as we layed our backs on to the bed. I climbed up onto his chest, and rested my head in the crook of his neck this time. I closed my eyes as Ashton's hands blindly traced circles on my back, every breath that escaped his mouth was heavy and tired. I began to feel sleep creeping up on me as well, and I guessed it was from all the fucking drama I was caught in the middle of earlier today. 

Ashton has a lot of fear. It didn't occur to me until now that there are so many things that this boy is absolutel terrified of. It didn't make any sense, to see the person who protects me against the smallest and biggest things to have so many extreme thoughts that seem to go through his mind everyday. Things that no one else could be able to connect to, because there are things Ashton knows that not even I know, and thats a fact. Exposure to a terrible lifestlye at such a young age brought him up to be someone who feels as though they could loose everything in a matter of seconds, but they won't. I'm not going anywhere, thats for sure. I don't care what people try to force me to believe, because I know Ashton is nothing like the so called "monster" Jessie said he was. 

His mind is like the city we live in. So much goes in, but barely anything comes out. Being in the middle of the desert and being isolated from other civilization. The only civilization we are forced to be around judge him for so many things that he is not. If I'm the only person he's comfortable around, fine then. If it ends up being just both of us, I don't care. The last thing I would ever want right now is to loose this boy of mine, because he's the only person I have ever felt this much compassion and empathy for, even though our lives were so different when we first met. But, now... I can't seem to find one thing about us that isn't similar.

"Yeah," he said quietly. I felt his lips plant a soft kiss ontop of my head. "You and me."