The Chase ▹ Ashton Irwin

CHAPTER SEVENTY THREE

Why didn't you just say 'I love you'? I thought to myself as I stood alone in the shower of Ashton's bedroom. He had spent an hour in here before me, and I had no idea how long it's going to take before I get this paint off. My mind was spinning, a mix of relief that Ashton said I could spend the night again tonight, and confusion at all the things the voice in my head was saying to me.

I mean, what's so big about those three little words? Isn't that what people that are supposed to say to the people they're in relationships with? It can't possibly have as much meaning as if I was to say I was in love with Ashton... would it?

I've never really thought about this concept till now, and the more my brain seemed to venture deeper into the topic, the more it seemed to ache. Am I literally in love with Ashton? I mean yeah, we've been together for a while and stuff, and he knows more about me than anyone else, but how long does it take until one falls in love with another? Is there even a time limit or anything? Am I even in love with him? Well shit, now I feel bad. I don't know what to feel now, because how the fuck can I know how Ashton feels about me?

As much as I want to just walk out the door and say "Hey Ash, are you in love with me?" There are way too many red flags with that thought. From what I can tell, you don't just ask people who they love and don't love out of nowhere... do you? It seems like it would be quite weird and awkward to ask someone that, whether they were my boyfriend or not.

I can still remember the words Ashton said to me, when we first kissed and he told me about his life. It was so many months ago, yet I could still hear his voice in my mind. How he talked about the fact that no one seems to know what love is... and as much as I can't connect with his theory, it still made plenty of sense. Considering the way he grew up, and all the helpless days he spent not knowing why his household was so fucked up.. I don't blame him.

Maybe he's right, maybe no one knows what "love" is, or maybe it just takes time to fingure it out. Like, a lot of time. As long as I stood in the shower, contiplating whether I should say something or not, I decided on hurrying up on washing the paint from my hair and skipping the questions later on.

I walked out into Ashton's bedroom with a towel wrapped around my now paint-free body, to see Ashton's sweat pants and a plain white t-shirt folded up ontop of his bed. I had no idea where he was at the moment, but I didn't expect him to wait up for me as I took way too much time in the shower. I brought the articles of clothing up to my nose, breathing in a mixture of fresh laundry and Ashton's signature scent. I smiled to myself, and made no hesitation to grab my bra off the bathroom floor and change into the much comfier clothes.

I walked out of Ashton's bedroom, to see him standing at the counter in the small kitchen, his body leant up against it with his forearms resting on the top. "Is that my phone?" I laughed as I walked over, ringing out my long damp hair.

"You had doodle jump," He said back, locking my phone and sliding it over to me. "I couldn't help myself."

I chuckled to myself as I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his torso and resting my chest to his back. Breathing in, he smelled just like the clothes I wore. "Hi Ashton." I said tiredly. It was only 4 in the afternoon, but I was tired as fuck.

"Hello sunshine," He said with a sleepy laugh, turning around to face me, resting his back against the counter. "Glad to see you're no longer a paint monster."

"Literally just about to say the same to you," I laughed, resting my chest to his and rubbing soft circles on his hips with my thumbs. "Did I miss anything whilst in the shower?"

Ashton shook his head no, and leaned down to press a soft kiss to my forehead. "Can we nap?" He laughed, a fake frown on his face. I wrapped his soft hands in mine, and we both raced to Ashton's bedroom, hopping onto the bed. "Come here." He pouted, opening his arms and lifting me to his lap. I ran my hands down his side and to his torso, wrapping my arms around him as I slid my body down on his so I was positioned more comfortably.