The Chase ▹ Ashton Irwin

CHAPTER EIGHTY

My eyes slowly opened the next morning, a warm ray of sun greeting me through the window. I coulnd't tell exactly how late or early it was, but I knew it was probably later than usual. The bed was warm, and it took my my eyes a couple blinks to focus them out. It also took my ears a couple seconds to wake up, and instantly realization took over me when I heard Ashton's heavy breathing beside me. I turned my head to look over at him, and he was beautifully sound asleep.

It was morning, and he was asleep. Not once did either of us wake up during the night.

Thank god. I thought, obviously very relieved that Ashton didn't wake up from another terrifying nightmare. At least, I don't think he did. I would have remembered if he had, because I would have been woken up by it too. I blinked a few more times, and my eyes were now fully focused. Ashton looked so beautiful and peaceful, cuddled up next to me with his forehead just brushing up against mine. He layed on his stomach, his back rising and falling with each full and normal-paced breath he created. His left arm stuck out, with his hand limpily resting on the bed beside him. I reached over, and slid my hand under his, intertwining our fingers together. His hand seemed to unconsciously clasp around mine tighter, and a small smile crept onto his face.

I smiled, and continued to look at him. I ended up taking my free hand to his hair, ruffling it up a bit and running my fingers through the soft brown locks. As much as I wanted for him to wake up so I could hear that adorable yet quite sexy morning voice of his, I knew better than to just interupt his slumber. So, I continued to run my hand through his hair for a couple more moments, before taking both my hands away from his and scooting closer to his body. I draped his limp arm over my back, and nuzzled into the pillow next to him. Even though by now I was wide awake, I still closed my eyes.

I decided to let my mind wander back to last night, and all the events that took place. I know that I've thought of these things before, before I fell asleep last night, but I decided to think about them again. I was pretty proud of myself, and my speech that seemed to finally pull Ashton out of that growingly terrifying state he was in. He was only in it for a couple days, yet I could tell if I hadn't said anything he would have been back to square one in an instant.

Square one. I thought, thinking back to what he said to me not too long ago. I guess that's what he meant.

After recapping all the depressingly false things Ashton said to me last night, I couldn't help but feel sad again. Like, why is he so mean to himself? Well, I guess I could answer than for myself now...but it makes no sense. I wish he wasn't so mean to himself, considering he can be literally the most sweetest people I've ever met. Mixed with his nice and funny personality and his beautiful looks its no wonder why I...

My eyes shot open once again, and I luckily stopped the gasp from escaping my lips.

...Love him. Of course I do, how the fuck could I not? As I once again think back to last night, my heart began to pound. I think.. when I concluded this all last night...I was just very tired and I thought I would forget about what I said in the morning. But, now it is morning, and the very way I felt when I told myself I was in love with Ashton still hasn't gone away. I thought about it more and more, my heart began to pound harder, and I felt the heat starting to generate inside of my body. I couldn't help myself but sit up, and scramble over to the wall to steady myself. I layed my back against the window, and my eyes traveled around the room at the speed of light. So many feelings of confusion and a newly found emotion were buzzing around me, I had to cross my legs to keep them from shaking and wrap my arms around my head to relax myself. It was such a sudden rush I got, and here I was, my heart still beating quickly and my breaths become heavy and airless.

Then all at once, my short burst of haluscinations stopped. I sat up, straightening my back, and I looked over to Ashton once again. Somehow, he was still asleep, looking more peaceful than ever. I don't know what came over me just then, but I had a pretty good guess.