ashlynn felt like shit, that was for sure. ever since she lashed out on tyler, she wouldn't leave the house. though it was only yesterday, she hadn't left her small apartment since. josh had called her and asked what was wrong with tyler, and she regretfully told him to have tyler tell the story. she should've been left if she was being honest. she didn't deserve josh, no matter what he tries to say. then, a thought popped into her head. what if josh has been lying to her all this time?
she started going over things in her head. what if she just moved away? she'd never have to see or bother either of them ever again, and she could leave this whole problem right where it was; columbus, ohio.
she had bitten her nails so much by the time that they were practically gone, she was slowly going insane. cassandra hadn't even tried to contact her, which sparked the tiniest hint of regret. so what if cassandra was trying to get josh away from her? it was kind of endearing, she didn;t want to share her best friend with anyone. ashlynn smiled warmly at her thoughts. maybe she'd call cassandra and apologize?
she swiped her phone off the coffee table without hesitation and her thumbs stumbled across the screen to get to cassandra's contact. when she found it was deleted, she was so thankful she had remembered the number by heart. she held her phone to her ear, her hand seemingly hesitating. her mind was screaming to just apologize and suggest to start over, but it seems her body was paralyzed.
"hello?"
her voice rang softly through the empty room. her thumb immediately went to the end call button as her breathing quickened. she threw her phone across the room and onto a nearby chair, almost afraid of it.
she jumped up from her spot on the couch, her legs barely able to keep up with the commands her brain was dishing out.
she ran, faster than she had ever run before, to the hallway closet and dragged out a suitcase for the very back. her mind was silent, all she was doing was in the moment and thoughtless. she ran up the stairs with the suitcase and started throwing everything from her dresser inside, her toothbrush, her floss, her books, chargers, everything.
she bargained that if she just up and left, josh could find someone better and tyler wouldn't have to help her anymore. a huge weight lifted from them all.
the jumped on her suitcase a few times just to get it to shut, and she finally got the zipper mostly closed and ran for the front door. she swung it open hurriedly and was met by josh's fist hitting her in the eye. she exclaimed in pain, and josh realized what he had done and gasped in shock.
"o-oh my god i'm so sorry! are you alright? i didn't know you'd opened the door as i knocked, i-" he stopped himself when he saw her suitcase in occupying her other hand. "what's that?" josh asked dumbly.
"a suitcase...?" she meekly replied, still rubbing her eye from the impact.
"oh. where are you going?" this question seemed to be the hardest to answer. where was she going? a hotel? no, then she'd still be technically around. what was she thinking? this is so stupid!
"i- nowhere. i wasn't going anywhere." she placed the suitcase beside the door, leaning up against the wall. "so... what did you need?" josh seemed to remember something in the moment because his expression faltered.
"tyler told me what happened." his tone was now serious; mad, almost.
"oh." was all she managed to get out. she looked down at her feet. "well um... i have to go now... uh... just a work thing." she grabbed the suitcase again, totally pushing away everything in her telling her this was a bad idea.
"wait- what? you- since when have you- wait!" josh rushed after her, trying to catch up to her fast pace. he stepped in front of her, stopping her in her steps.
"there is no work thing, is there?" josh pushed. he most likely didn't realize how scary he actually sounded to ashlynn.
"um- i- no- i mean yes- i just-" she sighed and looked down at the ground once again. "i'm just being an idiot, like always." she felt this sinking feeling in her stomach as if something had just settled there and wasn't moving. her brain seemed to slow, she felt like she wasn't physically capable of smiling anymore.
"ash?" josh's voice was soft as he hooked a finger under her chin to make her look up at him. "where were you going?" his voice was softer now, but he still sounded like he was pissed beyond belief to her.
"i was going to... leave..." she winced, expected josh to swing at her for being so stupid. she knew strongly that he'd never lay a finger on her, but in that moment for whatever reason, she felt as if he was so mad it'd be irrational if he didn't.
"leave? what does that mean?" josh's voice was a little shaky, but he kept it in control.
"i don't exactly know." she chuckled- but they both knew there was nothing funny. "i guess i think if i leave then you and tyler won't have to put up with me anymore. i've been told i'm too much lately."
"please." josh took her face in his hands again, trying to get her gaze on him instead of the floor. "don't go." josh's voice was just above a whisper. ashlynn's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"why?" she questioned, "why do you put up with me?"
"because i love you."
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a/n: i'm gonna start making josh more like... josh, i guess. i feel he's too dramatic. that's not the exact word i was thinking of, but i can't think of the word i'm looking for right now. i'm gonna make him more realistic.
