The New Guy (A Captainsparklez Fanfic)

Chapter 29

In this chapter she is describing her room and I am basing I entirely off of the house tour of Jordan's new condo so I will try and link the video of that house tour but for some reasons videos never work when I link them :/ But you could always just search "Captainsparklez OMG NEW HOUSE TOUR :O" on youtube and that will be the first video that comes up!

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I open my eyes slowly, staring up at the off-white ceiling. The dull light from the windows floods into my room, tinting the whole room grey. I rub my eyes and sit up, scanning the room. I start remembering what happened earlier and my stomach begins to churn, and my heart beats really fast. I shake my head gripping the bed sheets.

I can't let it happen again. It's been years since the last one and I can't let it happen again. I put in headphones and blast my music, remembering how that used to help. I nod along to some MKTO and hope that it will calm me down. My heart rate doesn't slow and more of my old symptoms come back up. I don't want to have another episode. I don't want to go back to how things used to be.

Change. I need change. Everything is getting too familiar. I close my eyes, but I still see my room. Exactly the same. The double closets, on the wall to the very left of the entrance to the room. Their boring white doors taunt me, showing me that my room has no personality whatsoever. The white desk on the wall adjacent to the closets, directly beneath the slanted windows that go from the floor to the 12 foot high ceiling. The desk's paint is peeling, there's a lamp in the top right corner, three grey wire cups that hold pencils and pens in the top left, my white Asus laptop directly in the middle. The queen size bed on the only empty wall, covering the majority of the outlets in the room.. 

I snap my eyes open and my skin begins to crawl. Anger boils up inside of me and I jump off the bed. I can't take it. I pick up all the clothes on the floor and toss it onto my bed. I turn my music up to full volume and grab the corners of my desk, dragging it out of the room. I pull my bed beneath the window, where the desk was, and rip the sheets off of it. I throw the pillows out into the hall, then pull the desk back in on the wall opposite the windows, next to the entrance to the rooms.

Then I turn to my closets and stare. I can't take the stupid big clunky doors anymore, it makes me want to scream. I go to the closet beside the front door of the condo and grab the toolbox from the top shelf, finding the screwdriver. I go back to my room and begin unscrewing the door hinges. When I pull out the bottom screw the door falls to the ground with a satisfying thud. I smile and run to the other door and repeat the process. I drag the doors out into the middle of the room. I reach up to the top shelf of the closet closest to the windows and find the curtains that we bought years ago. Mom had planned on putting them on the windows but never got around to it. I grab the hammer from the toolbox and begin nailing the curtains onto the doorframes.

When I'm done I walk to the middle of the room and spin in a full circle, looking at what I've accomplished. I take a deep breath and sit on my bed. My heart beats at a steady pace now and I feel overall more calm.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I jump. I turn quickly to see Mom standing in front of me. I sigh and pull my headphones out.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack or something?!"

"I'm sorry, I was trying to talk to you but I guess you couldn't hear me with your headphones in. What did you do in here?" I look around at my brand new room and slowly sit down on my bed.

"I needed change. It was all getting to boring and I couldn't stand it." Mom stares at me and I stare at my feet, trying to avoid her gaze.

"What's wrong?" She pushes.

"Nothing."

"It's obviously not nothing Katrina." I pull my legs up onto my unmade bed and squeeze my knees to my chest.

"They're coming back," I whisper. "The episodes." She stands silent for a moment then sits on the bed next to me and pulls me close. She strokes my hair and rocks with me slightly.

"It's ok Kat. We got rid of them once, we can do it again."

"I didn't have one, but I felt one coming. I used the coping things we thought of and it worked. But they are still coming back."

"Kat it's been three years. Why are they coming back now?"

"I don't know mom. I really don't know, but I'm scared."

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WOOOOAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! INTENSE!!! Kinda... Lol anyways I'M FINALLY BACK!

I'm really sorry that I've been irresponsible and annoying with my uploads... I just am slipping back into where I was last year and that was REALY bad. I am perfectly capable of doing all of my homework and getting at least one chapter a day done, but I am stupid and I acknowledge the fact that I make terrible decisions. I'm trying to work on it, but it's REALLY hard. Don't expect regular uploads until like summer. Chapters will go up whenever they go up and I feel like a jerk for saying that but I can't make promises I know I won't keep. (But I WILL get Agent Sparklez chapters up when I'm supposed to from now on. That's my first priority because it's affecting other people.)

I hope you all can forgive me. I'm really working hard to fix my life decisions right now, but as you can see I'm not all the way to my goal yet. But one thing to keep in mind: if I could upload seven chapters a day I would. I would do anything for you guys and for wattpad. You guys are really the only thing keeping me alive right now. I just don't want you guys to think I don't care about you and that's why I'm not uploading. I care about you all SO much because you have changed my life SO much.

This chapter is dedicated to CreativeCollossus who has been commenting on basically every chapter on all my books. You are super cool and nice and I really appreciate readers like you!

Vote if you like it, comment if you feel like it!

<3

Nani