Chapter 23

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POPPY

I woke up and I was alone on the sofa. I'm sure Harry was here last night or did I just dream it?

I stretched and sat up. When I looked to the entrance of the living room I saw my parents standing there.

"Hi" I whispered scared of what they were going to say. 

"Who was that boy?" My father got right to the point as always.

"What boy?" I asked. Okay so Harry was here but my parents scared him away, great. 

"Curly hair, tall" My mum said and I knew straight away they were talking about Harry. 

"He was here the other day when you skipped school." My father said.

"His name is Harry" I said looking down and soon I saw a pair of feet in front of me. 

"Look at me when I speak to you" My father said angry and his voice getting louder. I looked up and I saw he was really angry. "And stand up too its disrespectful" He said and I didn't want to argue because I just woke up, so I just stood up and looked at him with no emotion like always. Soon enough my mother come to my fathers side with the expression as him.

"You going to tell us why he was here?" My mother asked or more like demanded. 

"Why should I?" I said which was a bad idea because soon enough my fathers hand raised up and slapped me round the face hard. 

"Don't EVER speak to us like that young lady and dont give us attitude. Now tell us why he was here!" My father shouted at me. 

"We were on a date" I whispered 

"What?! Speak up!" My father shouted

"We were on a date!" I shouted back and he started laughing and soon enough my mother started too. "Why are you laughing?" I asked quietly confused.

"You were on a date..." My father said inbetween laughing. "...Who would wanna go on a date with you? I mean come on I'm sure there's prettier people out there, skinner people. He probably felt sorry for you, sympathy that's all that was. You don't actually think he would like someone so worthless like you would you? You're a mess with anger issues. Why would anyone wanna date YOU?!" My father said in such a bitter tone that every word hit me like a bullet. I just looked down at the floor as they both carried on laughing as the made their way up stairs to there room.

I didn't realise I was crying until I saw drops of wet going on to the carpet. I wiped my eyes but it didn't help I carried on crying.

I quickly run up to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My parents were right. I'm not pretty. I mean yea there's sometimes when I think I am but all it takes is a bad photo or someone to say something for me to agree and go back to hating myself. And their right about me not being skinny. Penelope use to tell me that I'm curvy and that she would love to have my figure, but truth I wanted her figure she was so skinny and perfect. She told me boys loved curves more than stick thin girls but I don't think its true. Penelope was always the pretty and perfect friend. I was sort a just there. I'm not skinny I'm not pretty, I'm not even average. I'm ugly. My parents are right. There always right. I don't even know why I bother. Maybe harry did just ask me on a date out of sympathy. I mean come on since I told him about my childhood his being nicer and then he asked me on a date and he was late. Maybe he was late because he didnt wanna come but he thought he would go anyway because of sympathy.

I looked to the side of the sink and saw my blade that I use to use almost every night. I looked at my wrists and my hips and saw scars from ages ago but most of them was fading now. I only stopped because of Penelope. She helped me through it and stopped me from doing it. But shes not here anymore. She left me and Harry is here but his doing it out of sympathy so why should I not do it now. Its not like anyone would care.

I picked up the blade and put it to my wrist and slowly pulled it across. Soon enough red started pouring out of the cut I just made. I done the same a couple more times before I felt like I had let everything out. I stared at myself in the mirror again as the blood still poured down my arm before I cleaned the blood bandaged my cuts and went to my room. I got dressed into pjamas and went to sleep again because i was so exausted.

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