Incidental Fate Book 1

69

I wiped as many tears away as I could before walking out. My worst fear in this relationship with Gavin had been realized. And it was that damned alarm's fault. Gavin had that system installed to protect me and it had literally done the opposite.

Grant was pacing the floor as I walked out, his face flushed and his eyes wet. I'd worked so hard to be the best mom for him, hell even the best dad for him. Now here he was waiting for his mom to explain why she's sleeping with his schoolmate. Shit. What was wrong with me.

He looked up, watching me as I walked in and took a seat on the couch.

"I'm sorry Grant."

"I feel sick," he spat, shaking his head.

"I know, I should have told you when it started."

"When it started? What do you mean it? Oh my god, you're the older woman, Jesus mom, no."

"It's not like that, we, we've been seeing each other for a while."

"When? Between his classes? Are you that desperate that you allow yourself to be some frat boys conquest?"

I tried to hold the tears back. "I am not a conquest."

"You're right, maybe he was your conquest, see if you still had it or some crap."

"That's enough Grant!" I huffed, swiping the tears off my cheeks. "I don't care what I did, you will still treat me with respect!"

"Respect is earned mom!"

"Oh yeah Grant! As in spending the last 18 years of my life taking care of you, getting you here to college. Giving up my entire life for you. That doesn't warrant respect?" I yelled, making sure he met my eyes. "You think I don't deserve respect because I fell in love with the wrong guy?"

"He's a senior in college mom!"

"He's 22 and I'm not going to make excuses because it has eaten me up for far too long. All I've ever wanted was to be this happy in love and when I finally get it I can't have it."

I stood up, pacing as Grant took a seat in my place. "I'm sorry that you walked in on that, I really am," I sighed. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you right away, but thank God that I didn't. Because I would have never seen Gavin again and that would be heartbreaking."

"What do you want from me mom? To accept that you're sleeping with him? I mean are you guys going to get married?" He barked, "I don't want a stepdad who's 4 years older than me."

He was right, it sounded horrible and it would be weird. Gavin and I had never discussed long term but if there was a long term then he'd be Grant's stepdad. Ugh.

"I don't know what's going to happen honestly. Especially after I just threw him out on Valentine's Day."

"Why can't you just be normal and go out with someone like Mike?"

"Normal? Mike? Your girlfriend's dad- let that sink in Grant! I don't love Mike, I love Gavin."

"You love Gavin?!" He repeated, brows furrowing. "You can't be serious."

"I don't understand it either. You think I want to be in this situation?"

"You don't have to be!"

"I want to be with Gavin. I just don't want the drama with our ages. He means a lot to me Grant."

He rolled his eyes, scoffing under his breath. "He's using you mom! Why can't you see that. You're delusional!"

"Using me for what? He could have any woman he wanted."

"I don't know. I just know he can't possibly love you!"

"I'm sorry again for what you walked in on Grant. I hope that memory fades fast, but right now I need to pull myself together and get to work."

"Will you promise me to break it off with him?"

I had done everything for Grant, but I couldn't do this. "No."

"You're going to keep hooking up with him? Because it's him or me!"

"Really?" I balked, rolling my eyes. "I don't know what I'm going to do. But I do know that it'll be my decision. I'm done making group decisions, it's time that I do what's best for me."

"I'm going to be the laughing stalk of the school mom."

"I would hope you wouldn't mention this to anyone Grant, even Berkeley." I walked away, knowing that a hug was out of the question. I didn't know what to do about him or about Gavin. Grant would never accept him and I knew his threat of 'him or me' was real, at least for the near future.

"This is shit mom, how am I supposed to go to class and face him, knowing he's screwing my mom. I bet he's screwing half the chicks at my school."

I stopped in my doorway, turning back to him, "I'm sorry again Grant for tonight and I'm sorry that you're even in this situation."

"Him or me mom!"

Was I willing to give Gavin up. No. Was I willing to lose my only son over Gavin. No.

"I don't do ultimatums Grant."

He stormed out the front door, slamming it behind him just as Gavin had and I went to get ready for work.

My first Valentine's with Gavin and I bitterly sent him away, not even returning his 'I love you.'

I turned the shower on and climbed into the ice cold spray. I'd be on my feet for the next twelve hours so I wouldn't be able to sleep or drink this night away.