What No One Sees

Jason... what the fuck

A/N: Uh... hello guys. I'm sorry that I was gone for so long. I had finals and then needed to relax and then my dog suddenly... we knew she was old, but this was so sudden.. we think she had a stroke and a dog her age doesn't have a good chance of getting better after that... she wasn't doing well after that so we had to.. I was with her when she went, along with my brother who was actually the one who brought her home. This has been, and still is, an extremely hard thing and it's honestly just awful to walk around the house and not have her here. She had been here to help me through so much and now that she's gone.. it's hard

But I guess it's not the only thing that is...

"Oh my gods. Are you hard?"

Once those words were out of Leo's mouth both boys faces lit up with matching blushes as they quickly pulled apart and turned away from each other. This situation couldn't be more awkward. Leo only barely had a towel on him while Jason had his... er problem. 

'Why on earth is he even- Actually, no, I don't even want to know...Right?'

"I'm going to.. take a cold shower," Jason choked out before making a break for the bathroom, leaving the Latino to get dressed in private. This was not a good start for the day so far and it only got worse from there. 

As the other boy was showering, Leo couldn't help wondering why Jason had been like that. Before putting on his clothes, the Latino decided to examine his body. Maybe.. well could it be possible... 'He wasn't turned on because of me...right?'

Leo looked at himself, holding out his arms first and examining every inch of skin. At first, everything looked fine, normal, maybe even attractive. But soon his eyes landed on a freckle, and then another and another. Soon enough Leo could only see flaw after flaw. He was nearly covered with freckles, his wrist bones stuck out too much, his fingers looked like skeletons, he didn't have enough arm muscles to even see anything if he flexed, and that was only looking at his arms. 

It got worse the more he looked at his body. His ribs stuck out and his collar bone was prominent without even having to try, When he turned around and rolled his shoulders forward, he could count every rib and some of the vertebrae from his spine. His hips stuck out bonily which he didn't mind, but he couldn't help thinking that he must be very uncomfortable to cuddle with.  Leo's eyes dropped down to his thighs and he paused. If the rest of his body hadn't been bad enough, here was evidence enough of how worthless he was. The cuts that marred his thighs were.. 'Ugly. Disgusting. Repulsive. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!'

Leo didn't need to spend any more time looking at himself. With the way he looked, it was obvious that Jason was not that way because of anything to do with the Latino. The blonde probably just had a wet dream or was pent up. Leo quickly got dressed. He glanced in the mirror and grimaced. His clothes were baggy and ratty and splattered with oil and grease stains. Yet he didn't think that even the finest clothes could ever make him look good or.. desirable.

 He shrugged away the thoughts and made the bed before sitting in the middle of it. When Jason got out, there was awkward silence between the boys as the blonde grabbed the clothes he had forgotten earlier and then left the room once more to change. Having clothes on seemed to make him a bit more comfortable as he finally found it in him to speak. 

"I'm sorry about that-" Jason began, but Leo quickly cut him off. He decided that he didn't want to know. "Hey, y'know, it happens. It's no big deal." 

He got up and slapped Jason's arm in a friendly way while forcing a wide smile and giving a lighthearted laugh. This was the type of stuff he was used to. Faking happiness. Making jokes. All in an attempt to make the people around him feel a little better and to hide his own sadness. Jason knew this, yet the blonde didn't catch onto anything, too caught up in the embarrassment from earlier. For some reason, that hurt Leo even more, but it didn't stop him from keeping the charade up for the rest of the day.