What No One Sees

caught

Part of Leo wondered why he expected any of this to be any different. Why did he think that he could start being happy? What right did he have? And yet, when everything was said and done, he couldn't bring himself to actually cut again.

As he stared razor blades that lay scattered around him, he found himself too scared to pick one up and press it against his skin. If Jason saw him right now, he would be fuming. The older boy had just barely been persuaded to quickly run out and grab some food. Leo claimed that he didn't want to deal with the humiliation of seeing others right now. After countless warning to not do something stupid, Jason had run off, leaving the Latino to follow through with his plan. Except he couldn't anymore.

He hadn't noticed the steady dripping as tears rolled down his cheeks and dropped onto the bathroom tiles. Not until a misguided tear had fallen onto his shaking hand. Shaking his head, a strangled sob made it's way through his throat as he wrapped his arms around his torso.

Leo always had a hard time describing this feeling. Like the very center of his being was regretting being alive. He felt weighted, heavy. The feeling brought an aching, tearing pain, yet a dark and absolute feeling of numbness. Not the same kind of numb that he got when he cut, but the kind of numb that happens when you're not allowed to feel anymore. A suppressing numb.

Tightening his arms around his torso, the Latino's body was wracked with a shudder as he tried not sob. The tears were coming faster now and he couldn't help but think about how ridiculous this was. Here he was planning on doing a few cuts and being done. Just a quick and east remedy to feel better. But now here he is, crying on the floor, and unable to take that deathly attractive piece of metal and slide it against his skin. It would be so easy, yet he found it so hard.

After too long, Leo picked up the razor blades and threw them all in the trash can. Right as the last one fell, the door opened, revealing a confused looking Jason. He must have looked around the entire cabin for the shorter boy and this was the last place to check.

'Fuck, I thought I locked it!'

"What are you doing?" Jason asked. There was an edge to his tone as the Roman soldier already began to piece the story together.

Setting down the food that he had gotten, Jason came to crouch beside the other boy. He pulled Leo into a hug as he did a quick scan of the immediate area for blood. He couldn't see any, so he switched his focus to helping the smaller boy stop crying. Rubbing his back gently and uttering soft reassurances seemed to help as Leo slowly calmed down.

Leo didn't feel that numbness that he normally did. He felt an awkward feeling of regret and shame come over him for being caught like this. Even worse because the Latino hadn't wanted to shove more problems onto the guy he liked 'as a friend'

Right as he was about to open his mouth to apologize, Jason spoke, "I'm sorry."

Leo froze, not knowing what to do or say. He didnt know why the blonde was apologizing, but he still had him wrapped up in his arms. It was incredibly warm, which helped the smaller boy to stay in more of a calm and content, albeit slightly sleepy, state.

"I noticed that you werent completely yourself, but I didn't say anything. And then I left when you... I'm sorry Leo," Jason apologized as if it had been his fault that the Latino had the urge to cut at all.

Not knowing anything else to say, he spoke to the first thing that came up. "I didn't do it."

Jason must have really needed to hear those words because he hugged the other boy even tighter, whispering a soft 'thank goodness' before letting go of the smaller one.

Once free, Leo moved back a bit and shifted side to side awkwardly. Jason noticed this and immediately stood. Grabbing the food first and then taking the Latino's hand, he led them to the couch where they could eat.
The older boy tried to keep the conversation light, trying to be mindful of Leo and not wanting to force him into anything stressful.
"I miss building," the smaller boy commented this almost offhand and Jason was honestly surprised that he started talking about it.

Leo started rambling on about everything he missed about it and the son of Jupiter listened quietly. By the time he was completely finished, their food had gone cold. Neither of the boys cared. Leo was feeling better now that he had vented about this and Jason could already see that. Seeing the one he cared for the most actually feel better, made his heart skip a beat.

The pair finished their cold food before deciding to turn in. For the first time in a while, there was no awkwardness when they laid down to go to bed. Leo instantly cuddled up to the blonde who wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close and tucking him in. After a few yawns and a 'good night' from each boy, they fell asleep.

A/N: hi, I know it's been awhile. I'm hoping to get back into the groove of updating once a week, but we shall see if that's gonna be possible. Thank you to anyone still reading my story. I know it's not the best and I really appreciate you sticking through it.
Thank you all💙
Wolf out