Move, my dads a drag queen. (Includes Manila x Raja if you're not into that-)

Blades

A/N: again, trigger warning for self harm!

Maria's POV:

"Alright, here we are!" Mom stopped the car, and let us out. I was still clutching onto my bag in which I kept my paper cutter- I had only managed to get two cuts in at home, and I knew that wasn't enough. I trembled at my own thought.

I needed to let it flow.

I needed thousands of cuts to free me.

"Comeon, lets go inside." Gigi looked down at me with a worried look in his eyes. I nodded, giving him a half smile. It made me angry- how could he still care for me after what I've done to him? Why can't he learn to run before he gets hurt again?" I clenched my fist. Walking into the backstage, I could feel katya's eyes pricing through me.

"You again. I was hoping that you wouldn't be here." She whispered quietly, so that only I would hear her. I looked away. "I know you heard me." She hissed under her breath. Me and Kaliyah talked for a bit afterwards, that mostly consisted of her trying to make me engage in conversation and me giving half responses like nods or shrugs. All I could think about was that blade. I needed to use it- I needed to. I felt sick, sick of my own games, sick of always being unhappy. Quietly, I excused myself to get some fresh air outside alone.

Crumbling down into the floor after turning the corner, I rushed down into an alleyway behind the bar. Opening my bag quickly, I took out the blade and slid it out.

One cut.

Two cuts.

Blood was sliding down my wrist, that was a good thing, I reminded myself. The pain was unbearable, feeling like my arm was going to twist together and fall off. Still, I went in for another cut.

I felt an eerie sense of relief.

Suddenly, I was stopped dead in my tracks as I heard loud fast paced footsteps coming towards me. Throwing my blade quickly into my bag, I closed it just in time for the person to turn the corner.

There was katya, holding a cigarette in one hand and a lighter in the other.

Katya's POV:

under the dim lights, I was caught by surprise when I turned the corner and saw a girl standing there. I was about to scream because I thought I was seeing a ghost, but a second look made me realize it was just that damn girl Maria. Why is she always up in my safe spaces?

"What are you doing back here?" I stared at her, feeling annoyed. She looked down and started walking back to the door. "Hey! I said, What are you doing?" I pulled on her arm as she was trying to walk by me, as an attempt to get a damn answer. Hell, a word would be nice. I saw her face twist In pain as I tightened my grasp on her arm. "Answer me."

I pulled back. I felt bad, seeing tears start rolling down the girl's face from the pain. "Let me go-" she wispered in a trembling voice. "What's going on? What were you doing Back there?" I let go of her arm, but was horrified at what I was greeted with. Where I had held her arm, her yellow sweatshirt was stained with blood red stains. "Get over here-" I pulled up her sleeve. Bloodied cuts were scattered all over, with the longest one going all the way from her wrist to her joint. I was angry. I didn't know why- what reason did she have to hurt herself?

The flashbacks, the knife cutting through my arms. I never wanted to live that again. "Give me that." I yanked her bag off her as she crumbled into the ground. I flipped around in it. Keys, phone, wallet. Sure enough, in the smallest pocket, there was a paper cutter stained with blood. Exactly where I used to f**king keep it. "WHAT'S this?" I pulled out the cutter, dangling it in her face. "I just thought- I-" she tried to explain. I was angry, at her, but also at me.

I pushed down on the cutter, snapping it in half and dropping it onto the ground. Swiftly, I tossed the bag back at her.

"I won't tell your parents this time. I know what it's like. But if I ever see you doing this again, there will be consequences." I threatened quietly. Pulling out my smoke, I started to walk back to the bar.

It scared me to see her from the rearview mirror, picking up the broken blade and shoving it back into her bag.