Move, my dads a drag queen. (Includes Manila x Raja if you're not into that-)

Jinkx and ben

Dear jinkx,
Thanks for everything.

I took in your hurt expression, slightly proud, slightly sad, with love and hate.

"You're... not going to forget me when you get to Seattle right?" You looked up, tears stinging your face. "Please." I held on tightly to my suitcase, hoping for the hurt to stop. "I won't ever forget you. Please. It's only two years- and then you can graduate and come to Seattle and- we can make it through this-" I whispered, as if trying to convince myself as well.

Quietly, you took your hat off, placing it on my head and giving me a small smile. "Something to remember me by." You mumbled, holding tightly onto my hand. "Now- go. Go chase your dreams. You held onto my hand tightly- for what felt like the very last time- and let go, tears dripping down your face. I nodded, unable to say a word. Turning my back on you was the most painful thing that I ever had to do. It still is.

Walking away, grabbing onto my suitcase and placing one hand on your hat, I was suddenly suprised when I was embraced again from a hug. "Jinkx?" "Ben- I-" you pulled me back, staring at me desperately. "Take me with you. Please. Please- I want to leave this place behind- and- I-" I gave you a sympathetic smile. "Jinkx- please- once you finish high school then you can come and join me. We can start a new life then. Alright?" You looked peaceful for a second, then suddenly angry. "No- I want to do it now- I need it now-" you held onto my hands tightly, flushed. "Ben- I need you now!" The memories hit me like a truck- all the times you held onto my hand, the times we kissed, the times we would skip classes just to sit together by the track and talk about starting a new life somewhere where no one knew us- where we could live vigorously through the personas of being fearless and living in the moment. I wanted that now. I knew you wanted it much more than me.

I took one deep breath, taking in your determined expression.

"Alright." I sighed. "We're going to Seattle together." You looked at me with a hopeful expression, wiping the tears of your face. "Jinkx- do you really-" "yes." I looked up, staring at the large crowds. "And we're doing it now."

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Jinkx's POV:

What happened?

I stared at Ben- unable to do so for too long- the memories were flooding back.

I'd spent my whole life running away from tragedies and sorrow- and yet I always seemed to run back to where I started. The look on his face when he saw me- the emotions flooding back.

It's a level of shame that you just can't shake.

"Hey- jinkx- I'll get your food if you want to stay here-" Katya spoke up, tapping on my shoulder. "No. It's alright. I'll go." Getting up from my chair, I took in the surroundings- and the strange people. katya pulling along her crack lobster as he looked at the food displays- Trixie staring at the cotton candy with scary concentration- Sutan and Karl running around in circles- gigi screaming "YOU ARE NOT SKIPPING ANOTHER DAMN MEAL" to Maria while she talked with Kaliyah like he didn't exist- it's funny how he even still tries.

Getting my own food and returning back to the table, I had a slight consideration of if I should maybe stay for a while- come back to this life that I missed o much and tried so hard to run away from. But I knew that leaving meant leaving forever.

Don't worry. In a few weeks, I'll be on a plane, flying back to Seattle and pretending that none of this ever happened. Loneliness is all I need.

A/N: any theories or Suggestions on the story? Just leave a comment! And also anything you would like to see-