Move, my dads a drag queen. (Includes Manila x Raja if you're not into that-)

Fine

A/N: self harm warning!

Kaliyah's POV:

Things haven't been the same.

Well, that's a bold statement. Things have been the same too, just and much as they haven't. Maria's still her, laughing things off and excited about practically everything. Gigi was still hot-headed and sarcastic, and always, always pissed. Sutan was still the overprotective dad in many ways, to both me and Maria. Though, he doesn't talk to maria much anymore. Lastly of course, Karl is still the same loving and caring mom.

But it was clear that things were different.

Despite everything seemingly going back to normal, the tension in the house was undisputed still there. We all talked less, kept more to ourselves. Especially Sutan- though he's done a few nice things here and there, he just spends most of his time these days cleaning around his drag room and reading silently in the corner of the living room. Gigi mostly hung out with me and Maria when he was here, but he spent most of his time at gigs.

And me and Maria, well, Maria's just kind of there.

We still talk, we still do what we used to do. Hit she never seems to be in it- never seems to be interested, but was always floating away in her own thoughts. "What are you even thinking of?" I asked her one day in conversation. "Stuff." She responded, still staring off with her eyes glazed over.

It was hard to explain, but she always seemed to be on the verge of bursting into tears. Her eyes were never dry, and she rarely kept a smile on her face other than when she was laughing at a joke that's often made by gigi. Maybe she just liked him a lot?

Something told me that I would never get to the bottom of this mystery, no matter how hard I tried.

Maria's POV:

It took me only a bit to figure out how to fix the knife. I pried it out with some scissors, and wrapped the bottom half of it in tape. I definitely considered stopping- but I couldn't stop linking everything together.

Everything seemed to go normal after I started- not fully normal, but as normal as it could be right now. I couldn't stop, or things we're going to fall apart again. After about a week, the cuts started to cross over each other, sometimes opening healing cuts. When I first started, it was easy to close my eyes and randomly choose a location. But now, it was nearly impossible out of the fear that I would open an old wound.

Gi would check in on me every day- he begged me every day to stop, to please just stop hurting myself. "Maria, you can't keep doing this. You're hurting yourself." He would often repeat with a choked sob. Through these lectures, I always stared right down at the ground and waiting for him to finish and leave. He definitely cried every time, which just made everything so much worse. How could I?

He never told my parents, which I thanked him endlessly for. I didn't want to hurt mom anymore- she's suffered through enough, jsut like gi.

And dad,

Dad just can't know. He'll rip me to pieces.

I've been having a new dream lately- one of my dad, putting me back up for adoption, signing the papers with no emotion, and mom going insane, ripping down the house and overdosing on her medication- of Kaliyah not being able to do anything and falling into deep dark nothing, of gi crumbling down in her old apartment filled with broken beer bottles, scars and bruises all over her.

That dream got me the most- every other dream I had was a memory, a haunting one, but this one has never happened before.

I was scared that it would happen.