Loving Masego

chapter 29

Today the doctor said I could finally go home and I was a little happy to go back to the familiar place I call home . Masego carried me to the car and took all of my stuff .

Since I woke up we haven't spoken a single word to each other which i was greatful for . I got home and the whole family was there . Masego carried me to the room to let me get some sleep.

"I love you." He said . I didn't say it back I felt like he was saying it to try and make me feel better. A single tear just came down my cheek and I looked at him.

" we have a lot to talk about ." He says and I simply nod looking away .

"Why ???" He asks.

"What lead you to try and kill yourself ." He asks a question he should have been asking me at my grave . I raise my shoulders.

"Please Madileng talk to me ." He says desperately.

"Was it me ." He asks.

"It was a lot of things happening,  I kind of needed someone and no one was there ." I smoothly say .

"Didn't you think I wanted to be part of my child's life , what were you going to do with the child after birth."He says. I didn't exactly have a plan but I think I was going to give the child up for adoption.

"I don't know." I say .

" so in your mind you thought I didn't need to know and that you were going to carry a child for nine months and give it away." He says with tears in his eyes .

" I don't know what I thought okay all I know is you weren't there so how were you going to be there after the child was born ??" I raise my voice a little this time .

"Me marrying khayi has nothing to do  with what is happening between us  ." He says

"I don't want to talk to you anymore. " i simply say.

" well if you want to know the reason I've been spending time with khayi then you know where to find me ." He says standing up.

"Nope don't go tell me ." I say , he turns his body towards me .

"She had a miscarriage and to make matters worse her sister died after that she needed me more than you did I think. " he says .

"Masego I can see that you love khayi so much." I say taking a pause .

"I don't want to be the reason why two black people can't love each other so I think we should divorce. " I said looking away with tears .

"I think it's fair if you take all your things and move out , but since you paid for it I think I should leave. " I say he sits quietly.

"Madileng I-I " he says finding it hard to say something.

"Masego say something I'm giving up on you ." I say looking desperately at him to say or even do something.

"I'm sorry ."he says looking at the ground.

"God in heaven knows I love you so much you were my first in everything and I will forever appreciate that but I love you enough to set you free to be with the one you love ." I say not crying, smiling.

Masego loved khayi but he was forced by the gods to marry me and I think they were wrong,  so I'm doing the right thing . I want him to love her whole heartedly with out feeling sorry for me .

"So tomorrow I'll move out , I think it's best and don't worry about the baby . You can be in my baby's life only if you want. " I said .

"I will aways love you ,now I understand" I say .
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