A Hero With/Out Time

Chapter 11: My Way Forward. (Part 3)

I hardly slept. Ardent's information only made it worse. Questions spiralled my head. Why attack Axel? Just who did it and what for? If they were collecting mana then for what purpose? Were the demons preparing a larger offensive or was the Empire working on something more sinister. I didn't know and I wasn't sure I wanted or needed to. All I knew was that I wanted Axel to be safe and would stop at nothing to achieve that.

We were already on the road and would be so for the entire day. Aside from a short break for Pina it was a straight run. It was a quiet ride which was the exact opposite of the ongoing turmoil in my mind. It hadn't ended last night and kept going during the day, a constant nag that refused to let me sleep. I could only take solace that tonight I'd actually get some rest because I'd probably knock myself unconscious from thought alone. Fear, worry, apprehension, anger, if there was a negative emotion I had it.

"Hey," Taylor sat next to me but she barely registered in my mind. "Umm Rain?"

"What?" I replied in monotone.

"Actually I wanted to talk to you if you weren't busy," she started off quietly. "I thought the feeling would disappear but even after we left Greytree I've been-,"

"Taylor not now," I spoke through gritted teeth. Her voice grated against my brain like a fork scratching across a lump of meat. No agitation, timid even, it was everything that my mind was rejecting.

"Oh...," for a moment I caught her dejected expression but it was more than just that and it broke through me. A piece of her trust in me fell apart. "Sorry I shouldn't have bothered you. You've been in a mood all day, I just thought- you know what never mind."

I remembered. Taylor and I hadn't talked in this cycle. Her own problems which had been bottled up, they were still there. The entire time I had been struggling with myself I completely forgot about her.

"Taylor wait-," I tried to apologise but I couldn't. Words didn't form in my mind, instead all I could see was black. Seconds of silence passed between us. Until finally Taylor stood up. Without a word she just left and all I could do was watch her. Right now I had no right to even talk to her.

Like that night came and just like before I failed to sleep.

*

Today we would arrive at Axel. On the plus side my anxiousness had been lessened, not by anything fun however, but by the guilt and awkwardness I felt whenever Taylor and I crossed paths, which for being in a small carriage was a lot. Our eyes would meet and for a moment it felt like we could talk, only for one of us to quickly back down. It was worse when I realised that this entire trip Taylor had not once tried to pull anything on me. The distance between us felt further than when we first met. Ardent on the other hand was oblivious to us and calmly read books in the back of the carriage.

Just before midday Axel came into sight. The fields stretched outwards and from here everything looked normal. There was even smoke blowing over the rooftops far off in the distance. Whether it was from a normal fire or a 'murderous everyone is dead' fire I didn't know and thinking about it drove a pit into my stomach.

"Hmm," Ardent poked his head out from the cloth and looked towards the town. "Everything looks fine to me." His eyes shone as if glazed over with light.

"Hopefully it will stay that way," I said grimly and ushered Pina to move faster.

Within the hour we reached the fields. My eyes scanned for any signs of life but there was no one. I could see signs of some recent work but that was all.