𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐢𝐧 ✔️

17: Guilt

Elyse POV

I explained everything to him. Well everything except the abuse. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I've lied to him since I've known him. That would definitely make him hate me. Maybe he'd think that I'm weak, or pathetic or maybe he'd think I'm too broken. Too broken to fix.

He listened without even speaking once, comforted me when I broke down into cries. He tried to appear calm, for me, but I could see the anger rising in him. I could see his fists and jaw clenching.

Once I finished explaining he suddenly gets up. "I'm going to fucking kill him." he says as he looks for his keys. I get up trying to stop him. "You can't do anything to him. Just leave it. Please."

He looks at me with anger and hurt in his eyes. "Just leave it? Just fucking leave it? He almost fucking raped you. He touched you and kissed you when you didn't want it. He fucking hit you. Not to mention he's been keeping a fucking camera in your room. I'm not going to fucking leave him." He yells. He takes a deep breath, his eyes filling with guilt and regret and continues "And I let him. I let him do all those stuff. I was too fucking blinded by my own hurt that I didn't see yours. I didn't see the red flags. All because I was too caught up in how I fucking felt." He yells and grabs his keys heading towards the door, but I stop in front of him blocking his way.

"It's not like that sin. You didn't know. It's not your fault. Don't say-" I'm interrupted when he gently pushes me out of the way and runs down stairs.

I run after him, tripping on one the stairs and falling down. I whimper as pain shoots up my stomach. Fuck I ripped the stitches.

Sin quickly turns to look at me when I whimpered. Seeing my state and the blood seeping through the shirt he rushed up the stairs. His face suddenly getting pale and concern and guilt crowding his eyes. "Fuck. Fuck, I'm sorry." He picked me up bridal style heading to the door. "We gotta go to the hospital you ripped the stitches." He says. "No. Im okay. It's no big deal." He ignores me as he puts me in the backseat.

He sits in the driver seat speeding to the hospital. "Are you okay? Do you feel lightheaded?" He asks as he looks at me from the mirror. "Just a little lightheaded. I'm okay though. You don't need to speed sin." I say as I groan. He ignores what I say, still speeding as he mutters endless 'im sorry' under his breath.

--

"You're not coming in with me?" I asked. I had gotten stitched up again and now we were back at his house.

"No. I'm going somewhere." He answered not making eye contact with me. "You know I can tell that you're going to Tyler's house right."I said. Does he think I'm stupid?

"Your not going to stop me, Elyse." He said in his strict voice. I knew I wasn't going to change his mind. "Okay then, if you're going to do something insanely stupid let's do it together." I said as I buckled up again.

He groaned and opened his mouth to complain but I interrupted him. "don't complain, sin. I just got you, I'm not gonna let you do something stupid."

He looked at me for a couple seconds, like he was having some internal battle, before leaning in close and cupping my face. His forehead was against mine and his lips were almost touching mine. "I love you. I love you so damn much."

I still can't believe it. He loves me. He's in love with me. It's feels like a dream.

Not even giving me time to respond he smashes his lips against mine. I immediately respond, and kiss him back, moving my lips against his. Hmm. He tastes like mint. Ugh. I love him.

I pull away before It gets too steamy, resting my forehead against his. "I love you." I say breath less.

--

Sin holds my hand as we walk towards Tyler's front door. My brows furrow as I look at the half opened door. Why the fuck is the door open? Sin pulls me behind him as he says "you shouldn't have came. You can get hurt."

We walk in and theres broken glass everywhere, the sofa's flipped open. We check everywhere and he isn't here. He left. His clothes are gone. Everything. He just left.

I don't know if I'm relieved that he's gone or upset that I won't get justice for all he did to me.

Maybe it's better this way. Me and sin can be together now. And Tyler's one less thing I have to worry about. Now I only have to figure out how I'm going to go home. Or where I'm going to live.

"He left. He fucking left." Sin yells, as he runs his hand through his hair. He suddenly throws his fist forward, punching the wall. I gasp as I take a few shocked steps back. He repeatedly punches the wall, till the wall is stained with his blood. "Stop it. Stop it sin." I say as I grab his arm.

His eyes are filled with guilt. I fucked up. I shouldn't have told him everything. "It's not your fault. Stop." He roughly pulls his hand out my grasp and heads towards the car. I ruined it. I ruined everything.

The car drive is silent. He sat leaning towards the door, as if he was staying away from me. I didn't say anything either, just stayed quiet the whole time.

--

It's been about 30 minutes now. I've been sitting downstairs while sin was in his room. He seemed like he wanted space. So I gave it to him. But it's been 30 minutes.

He shouldn't feel guilty. I could tell by how he looked that he was blaming himself. He thinks it's his fault. But it's not. At all.

Fuck space!

I knock on the door three times and no answer. "I'm coming in." I say as I walk in. My heart breaks as I see what state he's in.

His elbows on his knees, crouched down, holding his head. "Sin." I say as I bend down in front of him. He refuses to look at me. "My love. Look at me." I say as I cup his facing making his eyes meet mine.

My heart breaks again.

His eyes are blood shot as if he was crying. His eyes are filled with guilt, so much love, but so much guilt. He was blaming himself, I was now sure of it. But it wasn't his fault. I was the one who hurt him. I broke his heart.

"Please stop blaming yourself. It was not your fault my love. Non of it was." I say, as I move closer kissing his forehead a couple of times. "Now that he's gone. We don't have to worry about him any more. Think of it as a good thing." I say kissing all over his face.

I pull back. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Angel."he says as a tear falls down his face. "It's not your fault. I promise you it's not your fault." He grabs me by my waist pulling me onto him so I straddle him. "I love you. I'll take every breathe till my last for you, my love." I say. He hugs me close putting his head in my chest.

"I love you angel. I'll always love you. No matter what." He says pulling me closer.

I really hope that's true.

Authors note

Sorry for not updating sooner. Been having
a bad mental health day. I hope y'all are okay.