26: No more lies

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Warning: mentions of abuse, suicidal thoughts
Elyse POV:

I slowly open my eyes, letting it adjust to the brightness. I lean into the hard but comfortable surface underneath me. Sin's chest. I look up, and a small smile forms on my face at the beautiful sight.

Sin sleeping. His face all relaxes, his eyes shut, his light snoring and his hands resting on my waist. I slowly raise my hand, making sure not to wake him up. I cup his face, rubbing my thumb over his soft skin.

I love him. I love him so much.

But maybe it's better this way. Maybe it will make it easier to leave. He thinks I cheated. He hates me for it. And that makes it easy.

This way I don't owe it to him to stay. To not give up.

I can just go somewhere where no one will find me and end it.

This was my ending all along. You must've known. I mean, I knew. It was painfully clear. Yet, I've always denied it. Tried to pretend that it could end some other way. But this is it. This was my ending all along.

Sin POV:

I wake up to some noises, I groan as I slowly open my eyes. "I'm sorry, go back to sleep." I hear my favourite voice say.

She's standing at the doorway, with her shoes and duffel bag in her hand. Her bruises are less swollen but they're still purple. Her eyes blank and empty.

That's what scares me. Her once alive eyes, full of emotions and hope. Eyes that would glint and shine from happiness. Eyes that shone from excitement when she saw me. Eyes that lit up every time I said 'I love you' or every time she looked at me. Those same eyes, we're now blank. Emotionless. Empty.

"Where are you going?" I ask, suspiciously. The truth is I'm scared. Scared of what she'll do if I leave her alone. I still didn't know what to expect.

"Thank you for- um- everything. Say thank you to your mom for me." She says completely, ignoring my question.

Your mom.

She didn't refer to her as 'momma' like she usually does.

I get up, walking towards, noticing how she takes a few steps back. "What are you doing?" I ask, my hand reaching out for her, but she pulls back.

Okay, noted. No touching her.

"Nothing. I'm not doing anything." She says, as she looks at me up and down, like she's memorizing me. Memorizing this moment.

I grow even more suspicious. She isn't going to do something, right?

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'll always love you. No matter what." Her words should've made my heart flutter. Her saying she loves me should've warmed my heart. It should've put a smile on my face. But it didn't.

It didn't, because it sounded a lot like a goodbye. It sounded a lot like her giving up. It confirm all my thoughts. She was going to do something. That's why she was leaving quietly. That's why she won't let me touch her. Thats why she's thanking me. That's why she's apologizing.

No. No. I won't let her. I won't. I can't lose her.

I walk closer, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her closer. She trashes around, trying to stop me. "Please don't. Don't do what I think you're gonna do." I say, as I put my head in the crook of her neck, bending down, breathing in her scent.

"Stop. St-stop." She says, her voice breaking. She finally breaks out of my hold and takes a few steps back. Her eyes are filled with tears. Tears that she's holding back.

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