𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐢𝐧 ✔️

44: Selfish

Warning: Mentions of suicide
PLAY THE SONG ON REPEAT, if you want.
Sin POV
~~~
A loud ring spreads through the room just as Elyse jumps in front of me.

She falls back onto me, I grab her in my arms as we both fall to the floor.

"No. No. Elyse." I say, panicking as I see the gun shot on her chest. Blood pouring out of her, drenching her wedding dress.

This is too much blood.

She's loosing too much blood.

"Till my last dying breath." She painfully whispers before her eyes shut, and her body falls limp in my hold.

"NO! NO! ELYSE! B- ba-Baby, wake up." I yell, manically pushing her hair out of her face. I hesitantly put my finger on her pulse. I cry even harder when I don't feel anything.

No. Please. No.

I hug her to me tightly, putting my face in her her hair, breathing in her lovely scent.

"Angel, wake up. Angel, please. I'm begging you. Please wake up." I cry out. Uncontrollable tears falling down my face, reminding me of what I had lost.

Till my last dying breath, she had said.

~~~

I suddenly wake up, panting for air, feeling sweat dribble down my forehead. I sit up on the couch, where I've been sleeping every night since that day. I can't bear to sleep on the bed. On our bed. I put my head in hands, sighing as I wipe a few fallen tears.

The nightmares have been happening every night. Every single night since that day. That's why I've barely been sleeping. I try to keep myself awake because I don't want to relive that night.

I look at the clock, seeing it's 5:00 AM. So I only slept for 2 hours. I get up, walking to the bathroom, trying not to look at the pictures on the wall.

I look at myself in the mirror.

I look like shit.

Deep, dark eye circles have formed under my eyes. My hair needs a trim. A stubble grown out on my face. It's safe to say I haven't been shaving. I look skinnier. Much, much skinnier. I haven't been eating properly. I haven't genuinely smiled or laughed in weeks.

I sigh, turning my gaze away from my reflection. I stare at the razor blade that's been sitting at the sink.

It's 6 weeks today.

6 weeks since that night.

6 weeks since I last kissed her.

6 weeks since I last heard her say she loves me.

6 weeks since I last heard the beautiful sound of her laugh.

6 weeks of pure torture.

Today is the day. The day that they'll try to get my signature to plug it out. My signature that allows them to kill my wife.

My wife.

My Elyse.

I pick up the razor blade holding it, to my wrist, as I feel tears slide down my face.

I can't.

I can't do it Elyse.

I can't live in this world without you.

I've barely been holding on, as is.

If you go today...I can't.

I stare at the razor blade, moving my gaze to my reflection. And I drop it. The razor blade falling out of my shaky hand and onto the floor.