Cresswell: The Lunar Chronicles

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Nine

Cress woke to Nova crying. She slipped from the bed and padded down the hall to Nova's room, made her a quick bottle, changed her first, and then sat down to feed her. She tried not to laugh, but Nova's little cry was so sad and sweet it made her smile.

The smile dropped from her face and she tried to imagine how her mother could have been so cold, handing her crying newborn daughter into Mistress Sybil's hands to be killed. The thought of anyone even holding Nova the wrong way made Cress want to cry herself.

Her eyes welled up and she watched Nova eat, her round eyes relaxing from their squint and blinking lazily up at Cress.

Her father had tried to fight it. He wanted to keep Cress, despite her being a shell. She heard from him that it was the most awful thing he'd ever lived through, that it had haunted him for the rest of his life. 

If someone had tried to take Nova, she couldn't imagine what Carswell would do or how that would destroy him.

Cress didn't realize she was crying until a tear dropped onto Nova's cheek. She sniffed, wiping her nose on the end of her sleeve and trying to think about something happy instead, but for whatever reason found it hard to stop crying. Even though she knew Nova was safe and one of the first things Cinder had done as Queen of Luna was abolish the infanticide of shells, and all the shells had been released from stasis and reunited with their families.

How many families had missed out on their little ones growing up? How many had lived with guilt for years? How many ran away to Earth and never saw their child again?

When Nova got about half-way through, Cress paused to pat her back and then fed her the rest. She didn't put her back to bed when she finished the rest, instead curling up in the chair and holding Nova.

"I'll always protect you, baby girl," she whispered, lightly rubbing Nova's back.

Nova's fist flailed around and as soon as Cress helped her find her thumb, she stopped squeaking and grew quiet.

At some point Cress must have fallen asleep--she'd been doing that a lot lately--as the next thing she remembered was waking to Carswell kissing her cheek.

"Hey, you have a bed you know."

Cress smirked. "I know, but I wanted to hold her."

"Are you okay? Your eyes are all puffy--were you crying?"

Cress scoffed. "Yeah."

"Why? What happened?"

Cress nervously laughed, her throat tightening again. "Nothing, it's silly. I was just thinking of all the parents of shells who lost their babies and thought they were killed. I couldn't imagine loosing Nova."

Carswell pressed his lips together, his face going from amused to sympathetic. "I know, it's horrible." He lightly rubbed Nova's head. "I don't understand it."

Cress shook her head. "I don't know what made me think of it, but I came in to feed her last night and it just hit me that my mom was so blinded by me being a shell all the love she first felt totally disappeared. Like it just went away in a second and she willingly let them take me away while my dad was begging them not to but he couldn't stop them and--" Cress was crying again, Carswell's arms were around her.

"Hey, don't cry. It's all over and nothing like that will ever happen again. Not to Nova, or any baby."

"I know." Cress nodded, sniffing and then almost laughing at how upset she had gotten herself.

"You good?"

Cress nodded.

"Do you still want to go to town today?"

"Yeah, for sure." Cress stood up, kissing Nova again and then handing her to Carswell so she could get dressed. It wasn't raining, but the weather was still cold and cloudy so she pulled on her nicer jeans and sky-blue sweater. She really didn't want to not get to hold Nova all day again so she wore the baby wrap Iko gave her a few months back.

"Alright, we're all changed and fed and dressed," Carswell said, rounding the corner into their room.

Getting Nova into the wrap turned out to be a two-person job, but once she was in she seemed to enjoy it and settled right against Cress.

Cress smiled to herself. She waited for Carswell to change out of his pajamas and then they made their way to the house together.

Jacin and Winter were still asleep, no doubt due to jet lag, but Scarlet and Iko had a breakfast buffet set up in the dinning room.

"Can I do anything?" Cress asked.

"Nope, we're good. Grab a plate and fill it up."