their lost girl

lost

Violets POV

TW- 

- abuse 

- blood and violence 

The stars have always made me feel safe, the way they danced around in the abyss illuminating down on us. Through rain or shine the stars remained just as bright.

I sucked in a deep breath as I pulled the cigarette away from my lip, my eyes fixated still on the night sky. I ran my cold shaky hand through my knotted hair as my cigarette continued to burn down to my fingertips. The previously light drizzle rainfall began to grow heavy and unrelenting as it poured. I pulled my sleeve up and put my lit cigarette out on the inside of my wrist, sighing softly as the pain began to fade. The burning on my wrist was incomparable to the heaviness of my heart. The suffocating feeling  that never leaves me. 

I climbed in through my window saying goodbye to the view of the stars, the peace I found when I gazed at the stars never lasted long but at least for a moment I didn't have to think about my life. I wish I could live among them in their endless abyss. I closed my window behind me hearing a rustling from outside.

"It was nothing, I'm sure." I thought to myself as the drunken screaming downstairs filled my ears, the echoes of my parents' screams shook my small room. I sucked in a deep breathe, my chest beginning to feel heavy as I felt myself forcibly sucked back into my reality, my own personal hell. I can never escape this, and maybe the most depressing part was I had accepted the fact I would die here. I would die at the hands of my own parents. 

I shuddered simply at the thought of calling them Mum and Dad, they will never be parents to me. Forever Emily and Robert. I have no parents and no family and I was okay with that, although a part of me yearned to have a home; to have parents that adored me and protected me...

 I shook my head softly. No, I couldn't allow myself to indulge in the fantasy of what my life could have been different when this is the only life I'll ever know.

I sat down on my bed as the floorboards creaked. The soft glow of my lamp lighting my small, ruined room. My bed frame had fallen to pieces years ago, so now all I have left is a thin mattress which lays on the floor, although most nights it barely feels as though the mattress is there. 

I was pulled out of my thoughts as the yelling grew quiet, eerie silence filling my ears before it was replaced with heavy footsteps climbing the stairs. It wasn't hard to tell they were Roberts, and based on the aggressiveness of his steps he wasn't in a good mood but I mean when is he? I quickly got to my feet feeling my breath hitch as my door handle rattled aggressively. 

"We are out of beer" he said, slurring his words as he barged into my room.  The smell of alcohol burning my nose as he stepped into my room. A beer bottle remained in his hand as he swayed with a sour expression across his face. 

"Okay sir. I will get some tomorrow" I reply through my gritted teeth, more alcohol for them meant less food and we already were so limited.

"Don't give me that fucking attitude" Robert bellows stepping closer towards me. I instinctively step backwards creating distance between him and I. He lifts his hand and I shut my eyes preparing for the inevitable slap. The palm of his hand harshly connects with my cheek while the ring on his finger cuts into my face. I already feel the throbbing pain ascend across my face and the warm blood beginning to fall down my face.

"Money ? Where is it?" he slurs, before beginning to look around my room. His back to me as he lifts up my mattress trying to look underneath. I made the mistake of hiding the money there once, and I learnt my lesson from then.