January 28th, 2016

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"Work is boring me."

"Fashion not as exciting anymore?"

"No, it is, but it gets boring when everyone is going on and on and on about the shows you've seen. Been there, done that, don't want to talk about them anymore."

"Poor you. Want to swap jobs?"

"Oh, can we? It's always been a dream of mine to shout out, 'OBJECTION!'"

《Who is that?》

"Whoa, who is that?"

《I asked first.》

"Daniel, am I on the big phone?"

"The big phone?"

"Loudspeaker. Am I on loudspeaker?"

"Yes, you're on loudspeaker. You know, this would be the perfect opportunity for you to shout-"

"OBJECTION!"

"-never mind, you just did. Evelyn and I are going through my schedule for next week so you're on the big phone. Can I trust you to not say anything stupid or embarrassing?"

"..."

"Sophie, can I trust you?"

"Oh, you were talking to me! Um, yeah, I suppose you can trust me."

"I'm going to regret keeping you on the big phone, aren't I? "

"No, I promise to be on my best behaviour. So, Evelyn, huh? Sounds like my grandmother's name."

"You know, she can hear you."

"I'm aware."

"And you're still prepared to talk about her like she isn't in the room with me?"

"The way I figure it, either she gets annoyed and leaves the room or you get annoyed and you hang up."

"You have weird reasoning skills."

"I have amazing reasoning skills. Want an example? Good, I'm glad you asked for one-"

《I like this one. She's better than the last.》

"-so, the decision is to either buy the YSL sandals or to pay my home insurance. What do I waste my money on?"

"The shoes. Obvious answer."

"Wrong. I chose the home insurance, because if something happens to the house, my substantial collection of shoes will burn to the ground or have major water damage or, God forbid they could get stolen! So, insurance to protect my ninety-five piece shoe collection over new shoes."

"You insure your house because you want to protect your shoes?"

"What? No, that would be stupid. I insure my house because my father makes me."

《Haha, I love this girl. What's her name?》

"Sophie."

《Ah, so she's Sophie.》

"May I point out that Evelyn has no qualms talking about me while I can hear her."

"But she's not offensive like you are."

"OBJECTION!"

"On what grounds?"

"Defamation of character?"

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