April 28th 2016

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"Do you know what time it is, Daniel?"

"It's um, almost eight am."

"Yes. Your time!"

"Shit! what time is it with you?"

"Almost three! In the morning!"

"I'm so sorry. I forgot."

"Why in the world are you calling me at three in the morning?"

"I've been thinking."

"Ok."

"Is my grandmother dying?"

"What?"

"Is she dying?"

"No."

"Are you sure, because it certainly feels like she is."

"It feels like she's dying?"

"Yeah."

"There is something wrong with you, Daniel."

"No, think about it!"

"I'd rather not think about Connie dying, thanks."

"But she's giving away her old clothes. She's cleaning her house out. She's acting nice."

"And all this makes you think that she's dying?"

"It makes sense."

"Are you having some sort of mental breakdown?"

"What?"

"Like, what is your state of mind? Have you cracked?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"I think so."

"That's not a certain answer."

"I'm not going mad."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'd say differently."

"Why?"

"Shall we examine the evidence?"

"Hey, I'm the lawyer, not you."

"I've hung out with enough lawyers these past few days to know how this works. So, here's the evidence for why I think you're losing the plot. One- you think your grandmother is dying. That's not normal thinking. Two- you thought that I don't love you. Three- you're calling me at three am to talk gibberish to me!"

"I, uh... um..."

"See, you've lost your senses."

"Can we Skype this weekend? I think we have some things to discuss."

"..."

"Please."

"You can't just say 'please' like that and think that I'll give in to you."

"That's wasn't me emotionally blackmailing you. That was me begging you. Begging."

"I'm not sure if I'll be free to Skype. I'm really busy at the moment. My mother is flying in today so there'll be a lot of dress fittings."

"For Emma's wedding?"

"For the Met Gala."

"Oh, yeah, that's on Monday, right?"

"Yeah. First Monday of May. Mum designed the dress that I'm wearing so we have to make sure the fit is right."

"So, no Skype?"

"I'll let you know, ok?"

"I guess so. So, why have you been hanging out with lots of lawyers recently?"

"Oh, you know."

"Stuff?"

"Exactly."

"Shall I leave you to go back to sleep now?"

"That'd be nice."

"Ok."

"Bye, baboon."

"Bye, 'gator."



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