Little Miss Payne

The Memories of Easier Times (Chapter 13)

1,2,3,4,5,6.

I counted the stepping stones that lead up to the front door of the house. I just stood there staring at the door attempting to trick myself into knocking. Should I really have to knock? I mean it is my house too, is it not?

I then decided I wouldn't knock. Knocking would mean drawing attention to myself. I made my plan in my head. I would just walk in and straight up to my room, fingers crossed I don't get spotted by any of the boys. No doubt they are probably playing video games or maybe they are out of the house. Who knows.

I twisted the door knob with my sweaty palms. The only reason they were sweaty was due to the fact I was panicking about what everyone would have to say. The doorknob twisted easily and then I was off. I speed walked through the hall to the stairs, I quickly jumped up them skipping every second one as it was all my short legs would let me skip. I pulled open the door to my room.

I was thankful no one had seen me. I was stunned at the sight that I saw inside my room. There on the floor, sitting cross-legged on the ground with a thin item in his hands, it was my brother. Liam. I was suddenly curious. As soon as he heard the door open he flinched. He didn't move his head to see who it was.

"Go away Harry" I could hear in his voice he had been crying.

After waiting a few seconds and not hearing me or 'Harry' exit the room he mumbled something.

"I said go away Haz" his voice was stern but broken.

Not broken in the way a boys usually is in the teenage years but broken, meaning he was breaking. Liam couldn't handle the pressure he was under. That was what usually made his voice like that.

I just remained standing close to the door staring at my brother. He was always the brave one, the one that was strict but daring. The one that was respectable but childish. The one that knew when to be serious and when to laugh like there was no tomorrow. The one I would always look up to and watch to know what was right and wrong. Rae was never really a role model, he wasn't always there. He was around a fair bit but not always. I know what Rae is getting at by saying Liam hasn't always been there but neither has he and to be honest the only person that has always, always been there for me is myself.

Liam's head slowly turned. He seemed frustrated now as he had been made to turn around to shoo 'Harry' out of the room. His eyes widened with surprise, relief, pain yet still filled with worry.

"Kit" his voice let out a small whisper.

"Hey" I gave him the best smile I could pull together.

I have to admit that he wasn't the only broken one around here. I can't handle everything that is put onto me and I guess Rae just pushed me over the edge.

Liam pushed himself off the ground. I was expecting the whole "Where have you been?" "I have been worried sick" "We had to call Dad to come home because we couldn't find you" "I hope you know how much trouble you're in for running out like that" . Instead Liam hugged me extremely tightly, to the point of me thinking I was turning purple.

"Promise me you won't ever do that to me again" he whispered.

"Promise" I whispered.

"Pinky Promise?" he asked.

A tear fell from one of my eyes. Pinky promise. His words swirled in my mind. Pinky promise. Who could have thought those two words would mean so much to a person?

***FlashBack***

"Liam you can't leave me" I whined.

"Kit, I am 17. I need to do something's for myself." he said

"But you can't leave. Rae already left me and you can't too" I could feel the tears rising to my eyes.

"I am not leaving, just temporarily going away"

I couldn't believe that my 17 year old brother was leaving me to go on X-Factor. I mean of course I am proud but I don't know how long I can last without him. He is my rock, the one that keeps me sane. He is Liam.

"Please, promise you'll comeback" I pleaded.

"Promise" he promised.

"Pinky promise?" I asked as I held up my pinky finger.

He nodded and wrapped his pinky finger around mine.

***Reality***

That pinky promise was kept. He did come home after X-Factor. Not for long of course, he had world tours, interviews, photoshoots and signings to attended but he did come home.

I wrapped my pinky finger around Liam's pinky that he held up to me.

"Pinky promise" I smiled.

It was a real smile. The first real smile I could hold together. The first real smile that actually had meaning. The first real smile that had appeared on my face in over a week.

"What were you looking at on the floor?" I asked as I walked over to the place where he had been sitting.

"Nothing" he mumbled trying his best to beat me to the object.

I of course beat him there. I picked it up gently. It was a picture. It was of Liam and I. It was ridiculously old. I had kept in on my bedside table whilst staying here because I broke the frame before I came. I studied it.

It was me in my favourite pink fairy dress. I think I was about five years old and Liam as seven as it had just been his birthday. He was wearing a cowboy hat. We were sitting on the brick wall in our backyard back home. Our feet were dangling off the side as we were too short to reach the ground. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. Liam and I had been playing in the treehouse and Dad had called us down for dinner. It as still bright outside. He decided that we looked cute at the time. He picked us up one at a time and placed us on the wall before running inside to grab the camera. Rae was nine at the time and was inside playing video games as he did. Liam at the time wasn't so interested in video games. Dad had raced inside and Liam began to whisper things in my ear. I was giggling like a crazy child. Which I was. Liam wrapped an arm around me as we continued to laugh. At that moment dad had taken the picture. We were both so unaware of it, it was just such a natural moment. Not posed or organised. just Liam and I the way we were and always have been.

"I can't believe you kept it all this time" he smiled weakly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I? It is my all time favourite photo" I smiled.

"What about the one of the three of us at the park, the one when we were walking and you were in the middle and Rae and I were holding your hands"

"No way, I love that photo but this one is definitely my all time favourite" I said waving it around.

He just smiled contently.

"Why is there voices coming from Kit's room?" Niall asked nervously in the hallway.

I guess it was now or never. I took a quick glance at my brother who nodded. I was as ready as I will ever be to face my four favourite boys and my oldest brother. I took a deep breath before pulling on the doorknob to get out of my room. I slowly pulled the door open to reveal four shocked faces and one very angry one. At that second I wished I could just erase the last ten seconds of my life. I did not want to face Rae. Not one bit!