REJECTS\\M.C.

-48-

-hannah-

My hair blows in the cold wind on the way back to Mikey's, the windows down to cool us off and to rid the backseat of the sex smell neither of us realized was actually a real thing. I keep my hand on his that rests on my knee, his pointer finger randomly making light circles. My body still hums from the orgasm I received, even that slight extended touch of his circles making me want him to get me to scream his name.

This feeling is overwhelming. Sometimes feeling wrong, but mostly feeling so damn right I don't want to stop. There's also a part of me that knows this weekend of freedom, this weekend with Mikey, is coming to an end. And I want as many wonderful memories with him as I can to help me survive until I am in his arms again to create more.

I don't know if its wrong to crave sexual memories with him, but I just want any still lingering in my brain to be replaced by him. I want the bad to be washed away with the good. My brain thankful blacks out now, helping protect myself from more damaging memories. But ever since Mikey's lips touched mine, I've become more defiant. Fighting back when I haven't in years, and that drive to resist keeps me present, allowing the bad parts to stick.

It terrifies me; knowing they are returning to stay and file away in my brain because I'm choosing to defy. But I refuse to give in, understanding its because I now have something better, I now know what it means to be properly loved. And not just sexually, but wholly.

I look over at my wonderful partner, realizing he is more than that. He is my soul mate, my destined, my world. Watching his purple hair tussle in the wind with a permanent smile on his face makes me know he was made for me. He was meant to save me and I vow to love him the best way possible until the end of my days. I lean over and kiss his cheek, giving him that unspoken promise.

I rest my head on his shoulder the whole way home, well his home. But it now feels like home to me too. Home is safety. And my safety is with Mikey. We rush our bag to his room as Karen hollers for us to come eat lunch.

"Be right there, Mum," Mikey calls out before he presses me into his wall, his tongue sliding into my mouth and I whine as I fist his hair. He moans, grinding his hips into me, "How can I still want you so bad? I'm fucking addicted."

"Me too," I whine back, feeling his rigidity and dying to rip our clothes off.

"Maybe one more time before rehearsal, but I really need a nap."

"I think we'll have time for both before rehearsal," I bite his lip, "But first, lunch. 'Cause you need some sustenance to get me there before our nap."

"Oh, god," he whines, his knees going weak as he drops his head to my shoulder and I snicker.

He looks at me pained, his head turning to his bed as he bites his lip but reluctantly turns back and grabs my hand as we go to the table to meet his mum for BLT's.

===

"Okay," Mikey pants as I drop my head to his shoulder to catch my own breath, "I don't have anything else left in me. I mean in that in so many ways." I slap his other shoulder and he giggles, "Babe, you've literally drained me. Energy included." I slap his shoulder again and he chuckles, rubbing my back.

"I'm tired too," I admit, feeling so at peace I could fall asleep right here.

"Let's take a nap," he yawns with a stretch and I lift my head to kiss his cheek while I tickle under his arms.

He yelps and then we get up so I can redress while he cleans up. He puts his clothes back on before we crawl back into bed, wrapping up in each other and then quickly falling into restful sleep.