My darling Allyssa

Business as usual

*WILLIAM*

After we left the hospital, the car carried us to Nicole's to assure her that her son was indeed still alive.

I'm a control freak, and I relish being in control, but in certain aspects, control seems to elude me. My magnetic pull towards her, for instance, it's a force beyond my grasp. So, I found myself driving to that hospital as if some unseen hand was directing me, my fingers gripping the steering wheel with a tension I couldn't dispel.

In the same way, I knew she was going to be at that restaurant which is why I chose to make a reservation there and paid the bill for her in advance before she even got there.

I'm losing my mind , the only thing I can and want to think about is HER.

And yet, all of this order and precision in my life seemed to crumble in the face of her presence. Soon after that, I drove home and went into my office and threw myself into work to distract myself from the uneasy feeling in my gut. Something's wrong.

Henderson Security was launching new quarters in Italy and I needed everything to go smoothly. I didn't have time for setbacks. My focus needed to be absolute, my mind untethered from any distraction, regardless of how captivating.

The clock on the wall read 11:45 pm, a stern reminder that I should be resting. Tomorrow's schedule was packed with meetings, a relentless march from the first light of dawn.

Pushing away from my desk, I entered my bedroom, shedding the clothing of the day. A hot shower, a futile attempt to cleanse not just my body, but the maelstrom in my mind.

She had bewitched me, mind, body, and soul. The image of her, with a blend of compassion and professionalism in her eyes, haunted my thoughts. I contemplated stabbing myself just for her to look at me and touch me at least. I'd willingly trade fortunes for her touch, to hear her laughter, if only once.

"Goddamit, Allyssa," I murmured, leaning my forehead against the cool tiles of the shower. The water, scalding, turned frigid as I tried to reclaim control.

Stepping out, water droplets cascading down my form, I wrapped a towel around my waist, a futile barrier against the thoughts that seemed to penetrate deeper. I brushed my teeth, wandering into the closet. Boxers and grey sweatpants dressed me, but they couldn't clothe the turmoil within.

I couldn't get her out of my mind and now I also couldn't shake the feeling something was off. I get into bed and try to sleep, but Artemis one of my cats hops on my bed and begins sprinting around and fighting with invisible ghosts. Willow the other cat soon joins her on the bed and makes herself comfortable on my chest

I didn't choose to have them, they broke into my house six years ago and refused to leave.

I hated the damn cats but I couldn't imagine coming home and not finding Artemis doing the oddest things while Willow was sleeping in the most unusual places.

I don't even know how she gets up there. I don't bother her so most of the time I leave her alone. Artemis is an orange tabby cat with green eyes and very impulsive behaviour, Willow is a calm Russian blue with a thick, gorgeous blue-grey coat and bright blue eyes.

I've learned over the years to let her exhaust herself. After 30 minutes of her nonsense, she hops back on the bed and settles in between the pillows.

And we call it a night soon after that. Even in my dreams, she's haunting me. This must be possession. I wake up at 5:30 am and start preparing for my day, the hours blurred in a disciplined harmony of exercise and preparation.