𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐚 𝟐𝟓𝟖 [𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧]

𝟎𝟕. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐰

"What are you doing?"

I jumped, the article fell from my hand. I slowly turned and I stared wide-eyed at Louis Tomlinson's icy irises.

"I...um...here...really..."

"THIS IS MY FILE?"

"No... I mean yes... I mean..." I was in the most complete panic, I didn't know what to do nor what to say. The only coherent thought I could form was wondering what he was doing in his room at that hour. It was just 10.30pm! As if I didn't go to catch the only Sunday he came back early.

"Forget it! And I almost thought we could be friends! Now I remember why I don't want any!" He turned, fists clenched and arms stiff along his body, shoulders slightly tucked up, I almost could see him shaking.

My heart sank, did he really want to be my friend?

"Wait Lou, please."

"If you wanted to know something about me you could've asked me, don't you think?" His voice cracked as he said this sentence.

"I'm asking you now."

"Now it's no longer needed, didn't you read the article? Rather, why are you still here? Shouldn't you be asking to change rooms? They will, they'll understand..."

"I-I don't want to switch rooms, I want to hear your side." What the fuck was I saying? He was right, I should have gone and asked for a room change, but I couldn't. The thought of no longer sharing a room with him was absurd and frightened me much more than what I had just read.

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes." I nodded convinced.

He took a deep breath and sat on my bed. He wasn't looking at me, on the contrary he had cupped his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. I could barely see his face staring at the floor as it was covered by his hair. I was standing still and couldn't stop staring at him. He was silent for a while, then spoke.

"It happened all last year...it was supposed to be a joke, it didn't have to end that way. I was very popular at school at the time. I was nice, I clowned, I imitated the teachers, everyone wanted to be my friend, everyone wanted to be like me without realising how much my life really sucked.

In particular there was this boy, Daniel, following me everywhere, who idolised me. He was a first year, very close friends with Zayn, who wasn't hanging out with Liam and Niall at the time.

One day I decided to play a joke on him, just to play. Some, including Josh, tried to dissuade me from doing it, but I didn't listen to them... I wanted to have fun. I told him that if he passed a ceremony he could join our group. As I said that boy had a real obsession with me, I think nothing would have made him happier than the news I had just given him. I made an appointment for that Sunday, at two o'clock in the morning in a clearing above a hill in the middle of the woods behind the lake."

I immediately understood which clearing he was referring to, it was the one where I had seen him that night while crying and it gave me the creeps.

"He seemed worried when I told him that he should sneak off campus at night, but his determination beat everything. I think Zayn tried to get him to give up, but even he could not dissuade him. At five minutes to two he was there, anxious and scared. At ten past two he began calling my name, but I didn't answer him. I was behind a tree and I was enjoying the scene of him being frightened, while the awareness that there would be no ceremony, that he had been made fun of, began to rise. A few tears began to spring from his eyes and run down his face, but were soon cut short by a noise he heard. I heard him mutter a "Louis?", but it wasn't me. From the far side of the clearing a wild boar came out. Frightened, Daniel took a step back, but tripped over a rock and fell over the cliff that outlines one side of the clearing. I immediately ran out of my hiding place, my steps frightened the boar into running away. My run obviously didn't help, Daniel was already gone. Still incredulous, hoping I could save him, I ran back to the college and called the principal. Somehow the whole school gathered in the clearing where first there was Daniel. They also called the police to retrieve the body and ask me questions. I was in shock and had a hard time answering questions, plus my alibi sucked. I was the only one with him at the crime scene and the story of the boar seemed absurd to tell. The only reason I'm not in jail is that they didn't find any fingerprints on his body.

All my friends except Josh abandoned me, people started to treat me coldly and to be afraid of me. I couldn't blame them, I am a monster, a murderer. Zayn will never forgive me, I think he would have sunk if it wasn't for Liam and Niall. I didn't even go to his funeral, I was too scared. I didn't want to see his face again in his family members who were crying for him. But I haven't forgotten, every Sunday I visit him in the clearing exactly as I should have gone to welcome him that Sunday I had given him an appointment. I show up there every Sunday. It was supposed to be a game, a joke, but that doesn't mean I'm not a murderer. I'M A MURDERER HARRY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

For the first time since the story began, he raised his head and looked at me. What I saw terrified me, not so much for the words he had just said to me, but for his eyes. They were rendered an almost alien blue by the tears that flowed incessantly from his eyes. His face was contracted in a grip of despair, the same one I had seen in the clearing, but now I could really observe.

"I'm a murderer, Harry, and you should run from me as far as possible because I'm only capable of doing harm."

At those words I no longer thought and acted instinctively. I threw myself on the bed, on my bed, on which he had sat and hugged him with all the strength I had. He returned the hug, continuing to cry on my shoulder. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't true, that he wasn't a monster, that it was just an accident. That it wasn't true that he was only capable of doing harm, because he made me feel good. I wanted to tell him all these things, but the words seemed to get caught in my throat, so I just kept holding him, trying to put all my unsaid words into that hug.

We held each other all night, even when we were tired of sitting; we laid down in my bed together and slept in each other's arms.

Maybe it was me supporting him, but personally I never felt better in my entire life.