𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐚 𝟐𝟓𝟖 [𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧]

𝟏𝟗. 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠

A month passed.

The relationship with Zayn had stabilised, to the point of returning as in the beginning, just the four of us. We went out, we laughed, we joked, but it was me who wasn't happy. Just glancing at Louis at lunch wasn't enough, but then what was I to do? He had been very clear, he didn't want me around and as much as this hurt me, if that was what he wanted I would have respected him.

Niall was upset by our fight, he didn't understand Louis' behaviour and was sad for me, but I think deep down was relieved to hear that I wasn't spending as much time with him.

Zayn was obviously over the moon, even though he had the common sense to not show it too much.

Liam was the most conflicted, on the one hand he was happy that Zayn and I were friends again, on the other hand he was seriously sorry that Louis and I had a fight. He had been glad that someone other than Josh was next to Louis; he had repeatedly told me that he would have liked to do it, but that he had always held back because of Zayn.

Sometimes I wonder what they would think if they knew about the kiss, actually, the kisses. Well of course Niall knew about the first, the least important, but he didn't know of the ones we exchanged in the evening either, nobody knew. If Zayn had known he would have certainly killed me first and then Louis, I don't know about how Liam would have reacted, it was one thing to be friends, but it was another to be... well something different not well defined and Niall... actually I don't even know why I didn't tell Niall, he would have accepted me for sure, maybe he would have even been happy for me, but I couldn't. I was convinced that what had happened was too personal, something that only concerned Louis and me.

My biggest question mark was Josh. I obviously hadn't said anything, but I didn't know if Louis had done the same, after all he was his best friend. So every time I found myself talking to him I felt embarrassed, kept wondering if he knew. Josh also tried to convince me that Louis regretted what he told me, but I didn't believe it. He had never tried to apologise to me, in fact to tell the truth he hadn't spoken to me at all, he continued to have that hostile and superior attitude towards me and the conclusion could only be one: he believed in every word he had said and he didn't regret it at all.

I did nothing to get close, but I missed him. I missed him so much. I missed his ice cold eyes that melted when he laughed, his beautiful smile that filled my heart with joy when I knew I was causing it, the way he got the little lines between his eyes when he concentrated...

Liam thought about interrupting my thoughts, who very delicately moved the chair aside from mine, almost making me spill all the coffee I was drinking.

"Hey, Liam, be careful!"

"You can't talk to that boy!"

"Who are you talking about?"

"Wait, let me take something strong first! Excuse me, can you bring me a decaffeinated tea?" I started giggling and he glared at me.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Come on Li! You can't tell me you want something strong and then have decaffeinated tea!" This time I just burst out laughing, still with him glaring at me.

"Yeah yeah, keep laughing. Glad to see you so cheerful after I break my back in vain for you!"

"What are you talking about Liam?"

"Louis, who else?" I nearly choked on the coffee I was drinking.

"What does Louis have to do with it now?!" Meanwhile Liam's tea had arrived and he seemed to calm down.

"Well who did you think I was talking about?"

"Wait Liam, stop for a moment I'm not understanding anything anymore! Start from the beginning!"