𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐚 𝟐𝟓𝟖 [𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧]

𝟏𝟑. 𝐇𝐞 𝐢𝐬...𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝

"Niall? Niall, are you okay?"

"Ehmm... Yeah, more or less... But let me get this straight... He made you dance with him at The Sun?"

"Well yes," I admitted, embarrassed. And luckily I had only told him that and not also my er... problem that had arisen at the time.

"And you slept embraced every night?"

"Yes" I whispered, more and more embarrassed.

"And at the park he kissed you to shut you up?"

"Umm... yeah." I didn't understand where he was going with this.

And I understood it even less when he burst out laughing.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Well Harry, are you sure you're the one in love?"

"What... What do you mean?"

"Well it's okay that you're friends..."

"We're not friends." I cut him off automatically, as much as that sentence hurt.

"Yes, as you like, in any case it's not normal... That is, you are my friend, but I don't kiss you to shut you up!"

I shook my head firmly. I understood that based on my story maybe he could come to that conclusion, but he didn't know how Louis was.

"You don't know him, Niall, he's... Weird. Yeah, weird. He never says what he means and does what's on his mind for no real reason. I think if he feels like setting fire to the school he would without thinking too much about the consequences."

"Or perhaps you are too involved to be able to think objectively and I as an outside observer see things more clearly!" I was already about to protest, but he stopped me immediately. He put a hand on my shoulder.

"Listen, think about it ok?" Having said that, he stood up and left me alone with my thoughts.

What if he's right? 'Don't get fooled stupid!' the little voice in my head replied. He was right, I couldn't be enchanted by Niall's words, the reality was very different from what he thought.

It was curious though, life was giving me exactly what I deserved. I had spent all my time luring girls into my trap and then using them and throwing them away, but now I was forced to go after a boy, who would never consider me the way I consider him, I was forced to look at him as from behind to a shop window, without being able to touch it, without being able to have it. The perfect retaliation, except I wasn't dead. God, if he really exists, hadn't wanted to start my torture after I died, that would have been too easy. No, mine already started on Earth even if my vitality was already slowly leaving. The situation was killing me, I felt like I was sinking further and further down, towards hell. And now I was starting to understand them, all those people saying that life is unfair and that existence is made up of pain. I always thought they were just charlatans and that if life went badly for them it was only because of them and their pessimism. How can you succeed in life if you swim against the tide? I always thought that you have to let yourself be carried away by the water, but only now I could see the impending waterfall that they had already noticed for a long time. Then I too began to swim against the current and realised that they weren't the fools, it was just me who, to enjoy the warmth of the water, hadn't seen it for what it really was: an insidious death trap. And maybe they, who have been fighting for some time now, could manage to get to the edge, to safety, but what about me? I had only realised it at that moment, could I do it? I wasn't sure...

The only thing that still drove me to fight was fear, the fear of sinking into that vortex, because I was starting to get the first taste of it and it wasn't nice. Where was the once thoughtless boy? As much as it cost me to admit it, I was becoming addicted to Louis. When I was with him I was the happiest person on Earth, even though I couldn't hug him and I couldn't kiss him. Yeah, because we weren't friends. And when I was alone I started having depressing thoughts. Like now. So maybe I'd better go find Louis. I probably would have gone to find Louis even if I wasn't having depressing thoughts. Let's say I would have looked for Louis with any excuse. I was just trying to find him when I saw him a little further with Josh. I was already getting close when I stopped because... well to eavesdrop, actually.