𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐚 𝟐𝟓𝟖 [𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧]

𝟑𝟔. 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞

I don't know where I managed to find the courage to get up and leave the soft red carpeted surface that had welcomed me, I only know that I was extremely happy to have done it just in time, because soon after Josh came out and gave me a sad smile.

"Hey Harry! Have you been here long?" he asked, obviously nervous. I wanted to answer him 'enough to hear your best friend completely destroy me. Oh and thanks for trying to defend me!' while instead I confined myself to a simple stretched smile and an "I've just arrived".

I saw him scratch his head nervously and a grimace appeared in his mouth.

"I...Emm.. Yeah well, I should go now, you know. And then Niall said he wanted to see me so" he was very self-conscious and I couldn't help but smile at his discomfort. I knew very well why he couldn't be with me and the fact that he was doing it to protect Niall and not himself made it even sweeter.

"Don't worry, I understand. When Niall calls, Josh runs!" He evidently misunderstood my words, because he immediately became worried.

"Oh no, it's not like you think, you're still Niall's best friend! He always talks about you and how much he misses you and my best friend is louis you know it! What is between me and him is different, I absolutely don't want to steal your friend!" That speech made me burst out laughing, because I wasn't thinking about that at all. My laugh confused mostly Josh who frowned.

"I didn't mean to insinuate anything, Josh. You can be with Niall as long as you want, in fact I'm happy that there is someone who cares about him like you are. Liam certainly can't break himself apart and sometimes Zayn hasn't... Well, let's say sweetness is necessary for him. So don't worry, go to him and also quickly before Nick sees us" I gave him a wink, symbol of the fact that I understood perfectly why he couldn't talk to me and he could be with Niall as long as he wanted as far as I was concerned. He gave me a grateful smile and raised a wave in greeting. Those few phrases and gestures meant for both of us that we continued to be friends, but that for superior reasons we couldn't be together. We knew it, we weren't happy with it, but we got over it. It was better that way for everyone.

He was already leaving when he suddenly took a few steps back.

"What Louis says... Well, try to listen to only one word out of three of the ones he pronounces. He is used to lying and it is very difficult for him to tell the truth" having said this he left for good.

I knew what he said was true, he'd been lying to me most of the time, probably the only time he'd been really honest with me was when he said he hated me.

Now the sweet and fragile Harry who until recently had sat in despair in the middle of a corridor, would have given up everything, would have moved away from Louis and would have tried to survive until the end of the year by holding on. But now... Without meaning to, Josh had triggered something with those words. He had also said that Louis was a liar and had said it with such simplicity that it almost seemed like a good thing. Why? Why didn't he punish him for being such an asshole?

No, disappearing from circulation would have been too easy for him, he didn't deserve it.

Do you hate me Louis? Do you hate me for thinking about me too much? Well, I'll make you think of me all the time, so much so that your hatred towards me will become so high that you won't help but think how much you hate me every second of your futile life. Hate is still better than current indifference, isn't it? At least it's something. At least he will think about me.

At the beginning of our argument I had started to insult him, because my mind was clouded, I didn't really understand what I was doing, I just wanted to make him feel bad as much as I felt bad. But now my mind was clearer, I was more determined and the aim was another. Now I wanted to make him feel worse than I was. And to his enormous misfortune, I was very ill.