All I Want Is You (Bkdk, Dkbk)

- 49: I Remember Hiding -

He doesn't want to hide him and Deku hanging out with each other anymore. He wants everyone to fucking know. Thats why he walked him to school today, and he plans to walk Deku to school for as long as the nerd wants him to. 

Even walking to his house is nice, like the world is brighter. Now that he knows how he feels about Deku, he doesn't feel bad about it anymore. It doesn't make him feel pissed off. And now, the two of them are sitting together in his room. 

Katsuki takes a moment to relish in the fact that he can't hear Deku's phone buzzing every ten fucking seconds now. It's only been a day and the bastard's death is already helping him out. Maybe he wasn't so useless after all. 

Still though, he can tell something is on Deku's mind, and he has a pretty good guess at what it is. He inches slightly closer to him so that their legs are touching, hoping that the green haired boy won't notice how close he's getting. 

"Seriously Deku, what the hell is up with you?" 

He can feel the heat coming from Deku's face as he turns, his cheeks still red. 

He's so cute. 

Katsuki watches closely as Deku fidgets with his hands for a moment, looking down at them. The red in his cheeks dies down somewhat and his expression falls as he twists his mouth into a slight frown. 

"Well... Actually, there is something..." 

He holds his tongue and the urge to say, yeah, no shit Deku, you can't hide anything from me, instead just staying quiet and waiting for him to get his thoughts together. 

"It's just..." 

He hesitates again and Katsuki inches even closer, nudging his shoulder with Deku's. 

"Take your time nerd, i can fucking wait." 

Deku gives him an appreciative smile and nudges his shoulder back, then looking back at his hands in his lap. He pulls his legs to his chest and Katsuki follows, the two of them leaning on each other. 

"Ishida Kun didn't come to school today and he hasn't texted me either. I-It's not like I'm over what he said and everything but still... i just have a bad feeling." 

Damn. 

What if Deku actually does have a quirk and he just doesn't know it? 

"I'm sure that asshole is fine Deku, he doesn't deserve your ass worrying about him."

He is always doing that, no matter who it is. Deku is just that kind of person, no matter what, he'll always worry about other than himself. That fact was shoved into his face over and over again since they were little kids. 

Deku hums, the sound standing out in the quiet house. Katsuki decides to continue. Maybe this would be the right time. It would take Deku's mind off of that asshole and maybe he could make him feel better. 

"You're always worrying about people who don't deserve it. That asshole. Me." 

The green haired boy turns to him, his brows slightly furrowed. 

"Even when you don't have to you just... do." 

Deku opens his mouth to say something, but Katsuki gives him a look. 

"Just let me talk Deku." 

He nods, closing his mouth and listening. Katsuki takes a deep breath and continues, 

"I always looked down on you. Just because your quirkless. You were always far behind me but..." 

"Even now i feel like your miles ahead of me. You can be heroic without even trying or ever meaning to, always with a smile that makes people feel at ease. It's just who you are. And that's something that i don't have, and i guess, in a way," 

He keeps the other reason to himself. When their relationship gets better, maybe Katsuki will tell him. That he didn't like the way he felt about him. Didn't like the way his heart would speed up or how his face would warm. How it made him feel so weak. 

"I didn't want to feel that way. So instead of dealing with that, I took it out on you. In horrible, disgusting fucking ways that... I'm ashamed of. And I'm sorry, Izuku. I could never say it enough, and i know it won't fix all of the things that I've done, but i hope that it at least helps? I don't fucking know, does that ma-" 

As he talks, his hands are in the air, his brows furrowed as he tries his best to explain what he's feeling, though everyone knows he's never been good at that kind of shit. Before he can finish the rest of his sentence, he's tackled into a hug. His head hits the pillow, and he lifts himself up from his elbows, his face turning red.  

"W-what the hell are you doi-" 

"Kacchan!" 

Deku is hugging him tightly, his eyes filled with tears, and he sniffs loudly. 

"Kacchan," 

His voice comes out wobbly and he puts his face into his shirt, probably dampening it with more snot and tears. Katsuki lets out a sigh, a smile pulling at his lips as he pats his head, his fingers threading into dark green curls. 

"Such a big crybaby..." 

Deku cries like that for a bit, Katsuki preoccupied with playing with the strands of his hair. That is until he doesn't hear Deku's sniffs, only his breathing, the steady rise of his body against his own. 

"Hey." 

He stops playing with his hair and tries to look at his face but fails. He shakes him slightly, but he still doesn't say anything. 

"Hey Deku, are you seriously asleep?" 

He still doesn't get an answer and he just leans back and sighs, now completely on his back. He guesses he could just lay here and enjoy this for a bit. He wraps his arms around Deku's body and moves him to lay next to him, burying his face in his hair. 

He feels himself relax and he takes a deep breath and lets it out, falling asleep soon after.