Gwendalynn: The Girl With Cancer

Gwendalynn | 6

When I started to feel things...

OCTOBER - 2010

I quietly knocked on the door several times before slowly opening it with a box-like bowl of soup in my left hand. I grasped some protective gloves and slid them on, not bothering to put on a mask since it's nearing the end of her two to four week recovery in the hospital. After this, she'll head home for her two to four months recovery.

Even though she'll be done with the hospitality recovering, her full recovery won't be over, sadly. She'll visit the hospital several times a week to check the blood transfusions and administration of medicines that are needed. Eventually, she'll be as good as new.

"Hey, Gwen." I smiled, setting her soup on the tray like I always do.

"Hi." she muttered, shifting into a more comfortable position, but remaining unsuccessful.

"What you need me to do?" I hovered over her.

"I want to lay on my side." she mumbled with her eyes closed.

"Why?" I asked, moving my hands gently under her frail body.

"So I can look at you."

I think nothing of her response, but a small feeling in the pit of my stomach appears. By now, I'm not that phased by it. Lately, I've been feeling things when Gwen says stuff like that and I don't know what to think of it, so I don't stress about it.

I finally managed to sneak both hands under her back and move her towards the middle of the bed and then slowly turn her body towards me, knowing she'll regret this decision when my twenty minutes of visiting is up.

"How's school?" she asked.

"Sucks."

"I wish I could go to school." Her eyes were still closed, but I can tell that she was trying to open them for me.

"You will be able to go to school. When you're healthy and feeling good." I smiled, patting her hand. The usual shock surges through my body and I smile wider.

She squeezes my hand a bit and squints her eyes open. Her nose scrunches, and that's when I realize that the sun is in her eyes and too bright for her liking. My smile instantly falters and I hurry to close the curtains.

She sighed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I sat back into the chair and resumed the connection our hands had a few minutes before.

"You seem happy today." she told me quietly.

"Well that's because I am happy."

"Why?"

"Because I finally get to see you."

And it was true. I really was waiting to see Gwen all day. All weekend. Since school started, I only came after and get picked up around eight to nine, depending on my school work.

She smiled sadly. "I've missed you."

Again, something shifts within my body. I couldn't say that I don't like the feeling, but the unfamiliarity is a bit uncomfortable. Because of this transplant, she's acted different towards me. She seems like a small little girl, so I respond to her differently too for her benefit. I swallowed hard and tried to keep my breathing steady.

This is just Gwen. What's going on with you? It's just Gwen. She's just your friend. Chill.

She closed her eyes, her tiredness extremely noticeable. Her breathing is a little uneven and I can't help but stare at her beautiful face. The small, hardly visible freckles that cross her cheeks under her eyes. The few eye lashes that remain at the end of her eyelids. Her perfect pink lips, barely apart, breathing small slow breaths. Her small nose, perfect for the shape of her face.