Gwendalynn: The Girl With Cancer

Gwendalynn | 17

When remission was an option...

APRIL - 2011

Crazy. The girl drives me crazy.

The last night, I'd been lying in bed for hours thinking about how she could even think that she didn't deserve me. Me. Of all people. If one of us didn't deserve the other, it was me. I didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve any of her. And she thought it was her that didn't deserve me. It made me laugh.

As I trudged through the school halls earlier today, I kept getting flirtatious winks at girls. It was kind of stupid, but I didn't really pay attention to it. I was too caught up in the idea of me and Gwen being together once she gets out of the hospital. It was a cheery thing to think about. I've never had a girlfriend before, but I know that I'm honestly going to not try and screw it up. Just thinking about asking her out gets me nervous.

So here I am, at Bo's Bouquet, ready to pick out some flowers. It's been a few weeks since we'd last talked about being together.

I'm not going to ask her out now, but I think she'd appreciate a beautiful bouquet of Black-eyed Susans, her favorite flower. It wasn't a big flowery shop, but I was positive it had Gwen's. If not, I'd get the closest thing possible.

I know getting them online would be a much better idea, but it would be difficult explaining everything to Mom. Besides, you need to be eighteen years or older and I'm not going to go through that much trouble for some flowers. I'd rather walk to the flowery shop and look around.

I had my hands stuffed in my pockets, walking towards the insane amount of flowers stood before me. You know, maybe I should've gone to ASDA. I guarantee they'd have some there. If not, at least fake ones. I know Gwen would like some Black-eyed Susans that'd last forever.

I heard some violent rustling behind me and the sound of a pot breaking. I turned to see a girl with brown hair tied into a delicate bun with her arms wide open and her mouth agape, shocked at seeing... Me? I narrowed my eyes only to realize it was Alice. She looked way different in her little apron and her hair tied up.

"Alice?" I questioned, giving her a sweet smile.

She gulped and kept silent with her eyes wide open.

I tilted my head at the now shattered flower pot and pointed at it. "You, uh, need help there?"

She dropped her gaze from me and looked at her feet, her cheeks blushing furiously. "Um, no."

She bent down to retrieve the broken pieces, only to accidentally cut her finger. I winced, bending down to help her.

For a moment, it was a sense of déjà vu, when we had run into each other at school and she'd dropped all her books. It was kind of a cliché thing. You know, how that perfect couple meets in high school when they run into each other - if only that could've been Gwen.

"This is becoming a routine, isn't it?" I joked.

She laughed half-hearedly. "I guess so."

After picking up all the pieces, I set them on the paying counter.

"You should get a band-aid for that." I told her, indicating her index finger.

A little streak of blood trailed down her skin. "Y-yeah."

She looked slightly embarrassed to admit it for some reason. She went behind the counter and rummaged through a few drawers before finding one. Struggling to open it, I chuckled and took it from her.

"Here," I said, peeling off the little sticky papers.

Alice reluctantly stretched her arms over the counter. I slowly and carefully put on the band-aid.