Gwendalynn: The Girl With Cancer

Gwendalynn | 18

When we had a date...

TWO MONTHS LATER...

JUNE - 2011

"Are you sure we're allowed to do this?" Gwen asked as I continued tugging her out of the car and under the overpass.

I'd passed my driving test at the end of my school year and got my license a little after. I had been using Kory's car to go places. With my parent's permission and with Gwen's, I brought her where I did my graffiti. She's been great in remission, her checkups only being on certain days and usually when I'm at school. She's been doing great so far, nothing bad has happened.

"I'm positive," I said, stopping right where my skull used to be.

I spotted some of the ones that I hadn't been caught with. I usually went to go do graffiti when things were bad with me, and most of the time it was at night.

"Come here." I pulled her under the bridge right where I'd spray painted an arrow going in crazy directions, colors of blue, purple, and violet inside the arrow. It was huge, and I still wonder why they hadn't caught me for it.

"Right here used to be a skateboard." I pointed to a spot where I'd covered with paint.

I looked down at her, her eyes narrowed at the space in front of her under the cemented bridge.

"Did you draw it?"

"I spray painted it." I smiled at her concentration as she tried to find the outlines of black from the skateboard.

"Now I see it!" she exclaimed, pointing at a transparent black line indicating the first left wheel of the skateboard.

"Guess which other one is mine," I encouraged.

Gwen had a dark blue bandana covering her head, tied in a knot at the back just under her neck. She didn't like seeing herself without hair, so she usually wore the bandanas. Hats never really suited her, plus it's the summer. She liked wearing beanies though.

The appearance of her made the whole cancer ordeal that much more real. You see those cancer patients in pictures that have gone through chemo wearing bandanas. It's a little stereotypical in a way, but it makes the realization that Gwen is sick more understandable.

In a several days, it'll be my last week of Sophomore year and I'd planned on skipping it to spend time with Gwen, but she insisted on me going to school, so today, I came to show her my graffiti.

This isn't an official date though, because I already have something planned. In July, there will be a funfair in San Francisco. I plan on taking her with me. Me and Gwen never exactly talked about being together since the last time it was brought up, but I do hold her hand whenever possible. It's like we're together, but not together.

It's nice having someone around, someone who doesn't judge me, who will come and take appreciation of the work I'd done during my vulnerable states.

"Is that one yours?" Gwen pointed to a colorful picture of a city in cool colors. I remember making this one a few years back, when Kory had just gone to college. I imagined him going to NYU, what it's like in New York. I missed my brother. I missed him a lot, and to know that he was okay, I drew buildings of New York at night in a positive way to remember that he was fine and was probably busy if he didn't answer any calls.

I didn't call Kory a lot because I felt like I needed to stop leaning on my brother. I needed to start being independent and this was a way of coping. Art is my way of coping.

"Yeah." I smiled, tugging Gwen into my right side as we stared at my art.

She hugged my waist. "It's really cool. I like how you used purple and blue."