If only I knew

Chapter Twenty-two

He was going to pull me back down unto him, and probably continue what we were doing but I surprised him by pulling him up instead. 

He gasped. "Darn, you are strong!" 

I laughed. "I take boxing classes you know."

"You do? I don't know!"

"Well, just for fun. Gym work. I don't like the typical boring gym work so I go for classes. Boxing, yoga, spinning, HIIT.."

"Oh wow.. you are even more hardworking than me. I hardly go to the gym."

"I love to eat. I need to maintain my weight."

"But you are not fat," he put his hands on the sides of my waist. 

I shrugged. Physical image - how I look, has always been something that I'm obsessed with, until my friends would scold me for it. They think that I'm always taking this diet fad, calories counting obsession too far. I don't know when or how it started but I suspect it might got to do with my mom again. When I was growing up, my mom would always tell me that I'm too fat. But the fact is, she and my sister are both skinny. I must have inherited my father's genes - big bones and chunky muscles. Even now that I'm doing so much cardio work, I'm not losing weight or getting slimmer, but I'm big and bulky. I'm just trying to control it. I have a female instructor and I think she might be a body-builder and I definitely don't want her body though I think it's quite cool. Very dominating especially when a guy looks at her. 

"You are fine," he repeated. "I like you the way you are."

That's the problem. Most people would probably feel wowed and touched if their boyfriends tell them that. But not for me. It doesn't make me feel better or secured. Just maybe ten percent. 

"Okay.." 

"Are you tired already?" he asked. 

It was nearly ten. Since I woke up so early this morning, I'm definitely tired.

"Hmph.."

"I actually planned us to see the sun rise..." he said. "Do you want to catch a wink first and wake up in a few hours time or you want to stay up and wait?"

"Oh..?" Seems like he had planned quite a bit. The hot air balloon earlier, this sun rise thing, what else? 

"What time should we be up?" I asked. 

"Hmm.. five maybe?" 

If I go to bed now, I can still catch a few hours of sleep. But that means I'll wake up with a headache or worst still not able to get up! But I really don't think I can stay up either...

"I think I'll go catch some sleep..." I said.

He grinned. "Okay. Let's go." He took my hand and we headed in. Zhu-jie had gone into her room so we didn't see her. She really kept out our way as much as she can. 

He let me changed first. I was going to wait in bed until he comes out from his turn but I was so tired that I fell asleep first. The next thing I know, he was nudging me awake. I mumbled. It was still dark and I wanted to sleep some more. But I forced myself up since he wanted us to see the sunrise. 

He got up first and changed, giving me extra ten minutes to snooze. Then there was no more excuse for me to laze in bed. I had to get up. 

He had actually booked up a boat ride. This time, it was a small canoe or a raft actually, just us and the boatman. The boatman greeted us cheerfully, like this was a common thing. 

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To see the sunrise." 

We put on life jackets for safety. There were just nice two chairs for us, and a pot of hot tea set up for us. And some hot buns too.